Peer Review by yapyapxy (Singapore)

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I am still in love

By: Norah

PROMPT: Love After Love

Range after range of mountains
Year after year after year.
I am still in love.
                -Gary Snyder

And I have found inside the world, another smaller place
filled with those who wish to walk all day
and sleep slow and quiet with the rest of nature, the rain,
the home of this earth, and its trees.

I fell in love with a mountain and think of her often
in the rain, how I reached the almost too close to the sun,
saw the morning break over the green and black.

There are moments that you can ascribe meaning to,
moments and mountains in between one place and another,
and hand over foot over rock I fell for a place
and time, the wind new through my fingers, through my hair.

Message to Readers

It's so wild to think how I'll feel when I climb Katahdin again.

Peer Review

"moments and mountains in between one place and another," because it compares something intangible and potentially forgettable against something so tangibly huge and un-ignorable. Also, I love almost-alliterations :')

How the second stanza begins about finding a world leads the reader onto a journey of discovery, where the gradual reveal of details let us feel as though we're right there with the narrator soaking in the beauty of nature and how time seems to slow.

Reviewer Comments

I couldn't help but notice that you like to begin lines with "and", so I wondered if it was a stylistic choice. I felt that some lines might have come across more straightforwardly without the "and" (I feel that "and" sort of cushions your words, which you don't always need to!) thus it might have been more interesting because then the narrator would be unabashedly declaring her love, rather seemingly than saying it as an afterthought.

Had a newfound appreciation for the slow pace of this poem after visiting mountains in Iceland... truly, nature can inspire such profound sentiments. :D I liked the quote at the very first stanza, and wondered if you would continue the repetitions of "after after after" haha I guess that's something you can consider experimenting with although the poem currently stands fine as it is. :)

Otherwise, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this otherworldly piece and wish you all the best in your future writing endeavours! :)

Happy writing ~