United Arab Emirates

[ a f r a h ]

far too nonchalant about things i should probably care about

Message from Writer

reviews pLeAsE. reviews without anything constructive are honestly a waste of your time, more than anything. be harsh or whatever when you critique me, but please do.

as for comments, they help a lot lol so if you drop a few, it would be highly appreciated.

رشکِ قمر

January 28, 2020



                                                                                                                                                           [ urdu ] : رشکِ قمر
rashk-e-qamar : beauty even the moon is envious of

i cannot call you an opus of the universe;
you, of languid gazes and stuttering whistles
echoing into the chasms of my arrested chest
you were always three steps faster;
lanky noodle noodle legs 
and an incessant stream of chatter
i was an encumbrance; too cold
my lacerating words
too warm, my furnace hands
and your shivering fingers
quelling the silence in that
ice cube corridor
you spoke urdu
and i hindi
the door-hinges of poetry
in terrible need of an oiling
vitriolic, volatile
you and i didn't exist to begin with

we were oddly beguiling
craving nooks and crannies in open spaces
i want to scrub my brain clean of you
bleach blonde blasphemy
the serotonin dwindling into
the starry sky

but we were unfathomably


ugly, not in the visual appearance, but of how toxic "lovers" treat each other

as i was writing lanky noodle noodle i liked how it kinda rhymed with yankee doodle lmao

also i was trying something new, like different paragraph breaks or something ig, but do let me know what you think and feel about this


See History
  • January 28, 2020 - 10:58am (Now Viewing)

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  • rainandsonder

    why are you such a good writer?? like the way each line carries such meaning and yet seems so effortless, the alliteration, the rhythm like flowing water. i absolutely love the line "you spoke urdu/and i hindi/the door-hinges of poetry/in terrible need of an oiling", like it almost rhymes but not exactly, it's just so interesting and such a terribly vivid image. i've read this three or four times now, no joke, and i still adore it with all my heart. the only thing is the line "lanky noodle noodle legs", i like the absurdity of it, but it disrupts the tone for me. seriously, you should be proud of yourself with this poem!

    16 days ago
  • weirdo

    holy cheese crackers, this is absolute beauty. i can’t think of anything to say besides... i love this so much. how godly.

    about 2 months ago
  • r|A|i|N

    your cryptic, well-worded style never fails to amaze me. like anha i'm in awe. great work.

    2 months ago
  • Anha

    oh wow. oh wow wow wow. this. THIS is a love story for the ages. (i never said it was a good one, but it certainly sends a message.) this is spectacular. sorry for the lack of feedback, i'm just in awe.

    3 months ago
  • babybluelamentations

    Ugh you’re using up all the beauty in the world it’s too lovelyy “you, of languid gazes and stuttering whistles” ??? “bleach blonde blasphemy/the serotonin dwindling into/the starry sky”, what is this masterful word association and where did you get it? You’re a genius of metaphor and i love your pieces omg <3

    3 months ago
  • Tushar Mandhan

    Beautiful! This merge of 2 languages is so easy and clear!<3

    3 months ago
  • Wicked!

    Agh this is really well written. I especially love 'you spoke urdu/and i hindi/the door-hinges of poetry/in terrible need of an oiling' damn urdu is so poetic, imo you could be swearing and it would still sound beautiful lmao

    3 months ago