“In the darkness, two shadows, reaching through the hopeless heavy dusk. Their hands meet, and light spills in a flood, like a hundred golden urns pouring out the sun.” -Madeline Miller, “The Song Of Achilles.”


Message to Readers

Lads! I’m actually writing a proper outline for my novel! Also, this piece is brought to you by “it’s Friday and you are on a bus,” vibes.

It Feels Like We Haven’t Gotten Rid Of The Pain Yet

January 19, 2020


The difference between dawn and dusk is that one is always screaming at you to remember and all the other one can say is “please don’t go,” and it tears you to pieces. You are scattered to the wind and you are aching.

The difference between dawn and dusk is that one lets you be a free child, a feral thing with strawberry juice colouring your mouth and grass stains on your knees and suddenly it hurts the sky to see you so full, it hurts the sky to see you laugh. The other one just has you lying in a waterlogged field, your tear stained face pointed towards the heavens and really, it’d be a universally awful thing for you to just stay here but nobody knows this place and even fewer people know your name.

Even fewer people know your name.

The difference between dawn and dusk is that either your fingertips bruise when you reach for the stars or your heart does. It is not a matter of choice.

The difference between dawn and dusk is that in one you’re a foreign thing, all sharp angles and hot blood. You pore over magic books to ease your startled chest and it works for a while until your hands start to hurt again. In the other, people come to sit and watch as you twist with life and with love and with memories. You reach out to them and mostly they feel like slow afternoons and wasted time. Quickly enough your hair is going grey and your eyes are turning milky and you think, “this is what it is to be cast-off.” You are ravaged. You are belligerent. You are alive.

The difference between dawn and dusk is that in one moment you are being ripped free of the marble and then it is the next and the sculptor has given up.
Salutations! I’ve been in an impressively bad mood these past few days!


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  • January 19, 2020 - 12:58pm (Now Viewing)

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  • Wicked!

    This is gorgeous and the imagery here is just beyond amazing.

    over 1 year ago
  • jaii

    hey have i ever told you are a writing goddess?! because you are. this is beautiful but of course it is since you wrote it. that last sentence is extraordinary.

    over 1 year ago
  • babybluelamentations

    absolutely amazing; i love the layers upon layers of metaphors folded into this piece. This is so, so lovely <3

    over 1 year ago
  • Anha

    oof, i know i'm repeating everyone else, but...i love?? also: is this the guy where it was all like, "you're all sharp edges and black smoke and your eyes are so cold" cos if it is, that's character continuity babey. absolutely phenomenal. (pls let me in, i wanna read your novel.)

    over 1 year ago
  • V-Rose

    I love this! I have always loved both dawn and dusk but I like how you contrast them!

    over 1 year ago
  • whoever

    Love it!!

    over 1 year ago
  • Upsidownpenguin

    great work as always, pots!

    over 1 year ago