Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
This is an incredibly moving and powerful piece of work on a very intimate and contained subject. The writer uses imagery that is always original and unexpected, discussing grand, existential ideas. The contrast in how the idealised aspects of the person and their humanity is cleverly done through alliteration in the first two lines (see highlighted comments) and later in the poem through evocative imagery. A fantastic job, well done!
I think the further exploration of religion in this poem, and how it links back to love, would be really interesting to see; particularly in the personification of god. It would also be interesting to explore why the narrator can't bear humanity to this extent; is it fear of vulnerability, previous heartbreak, or is it even about love at all and have I read this wrong? Jk but in all seriousness love that the poem could be interpreted in different ways and think that developing this further may be cool.
Brilliant, beautiful and moving, well done!