Peer Review by Amalia (United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland)()

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and i peeled back your golden skin only to find a human

By: weirdo


FREE WRITING

strange how such a starful being can be so human in essence; 
i looked beyond your beauty only to find blood and bones, 
and it’s occurred to me that god is an angel on a high pedestal, 
a worshiped personification of greed (but i can’t say that
 in the presence of these self proclaimed saints; i’m sorry, Father)

and maybe you’re a goddess, but mankind will always be 
stained on your magenta soul, ingrained in your moon rock skull,
buried in your pupils, and traced back to your hidden scars,
i broke my own vow, fell for imperfection yet again, 
like a fool drunk on lust and starvation and you
and don’t dare say you love me; my heart can’t bear humanity.


Peer Review

This is an incredibly moving and powerful piece of work on a very intimate and contained subject. The writer uses imagery that is always original and unexpected, discussing grand, existential ideas. The contrast in how the idealised aspects of the person and their humanity is cleverly done through alliteration in the first two lines (see highlighted comments) and later in the poem through evocative imagery. A fantastic job, well done!


I think the further exploration of religion in this poem, and how it links back to love, would be really interesting to see; particularly in the personification of god. It would also be interesting to explore why the narrator can't bear humanity to this extent; is it fear of vulnerability, previous heartbreak, or is it even about love at all and have I read this wrong? Jk but in all seriousness love that the poem could be interpreted in different ways and think that developing this further may be cool.


Reviewer Comments

Brilliant, beautiful and moving, well done!