Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
Any and all criticism is welcome!
The detailed illustration descriptions first drew me into the piece, and as I read through I was also interested in Hallie's vivid imaginings. I wondered if she was going to find a role she could be, and that question made me keep reading.
No; this story was easy to understand, and all the important information (who Hallie is, that she and her family are at the beach, and that Holly is too young to go in the water) was given in the first few pages.
The illustrations are already very detailed! You might want to add descriptions on the pages that don't have them right now (especially the last page) but I think what you've already included gives the reader a good idea of what kinds of illustrations would be with this story. I like how the illustrations tell the story without being too complex.
This is a really cute story, and with the illustrations, descriptions of Hallie's imagination, and good (but not forceful) message, I can definitely imagine this being a picture book someone would read to a child. All in all, I think the piece is already well done, and any suggestions I have are minor.
Thanks for sharing this piece! I look forward to reading anything else you might post, and good luck with the competition!