Peer Review by Ash (United States)

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Life Through Two Windows

By: Deleted User

As I am writing this prompt, I am taking a look at someone else's life and seeing their life through their window. When I look through this person's window, I see sorrow, pain, and a bright future ahead of her. Life through her window is life without education, life without food on the table, life without money to use for daily purposes, and lastly life with big hopes and dreams. She lives in a town, where the majority of people are living on the streets, looking for a job, searching for food on the trash can. Her window seems so narrow. As if its so hard to see anything through it. But she always has a tool to widen the window and see further than what most of what people can't see. She sees hope. She sees the glistening sun which stands for another day, another hope. She sees the birds flying, which reminds her to dream big and go far in life. All she wanted was education. However, she is unable to get the education that she wants. She roams around her town, looking for ripped newspapers to tape them back together and read. Sometimes, she walks into big towns, bare footed, stealing newspapers from the store and sprinting as the store makes a loud noise. She hides inside her usual spot, waiting until the police walks by. She looks down seeing her feet are scraped, but she looks at the newspaper with joy and hope. Hope that will motivate her to try harder. She takes a seat and slowly reads the newspaper. She taught herself how to read. She never earned an education because her guardians weren't able to afford an education for her. All she wanted was to get an education. It was painful for me to watch her life through her window. I took a step back and closed her window, opened mine and looked throughout my window. I saw opportunities that I have and that she didn't. Life through her window not only aches my heart, but helped me to open my own eyes and to take every opportunity I can. If I could only share the opportunities that I have to her, I would. But I know life through her window will only bring her far. Further than me. Because people who are situated in a life like hers, have the motivation and hope to bring themselves far in life. That is a life I see through a window.

Peer Review

Reviewer Comments

Take out the last sentence since the one before makes a more powerful statement, prompting the reader to really understand the whole reason behind the story.
Also, I want to say that I really enjoyed your story and that I wish you the best of luck with the Kickstart challenge. You just need a few tweaks here and there and you'll have a phenomenal story on your hands!