A Certain Type of Decisive

United States

Just your unfriendly neighborhood disaster, bringing you bi-weekly updates from the bottom of my own shoe!

Message to Readers

How many places have been painted over white? How many have masterpieces beneath? Could we count it, or could we only feel it? Is that the best thing to pass onto your children and grandchildren?

Singing, Screaming, and Strangers on Subways

June 13, 2020


There's always been too much music in my head-
It's uncomfortable
The white noise of air conditioner sounds like trombones
And screaming sounds a little too much like singing

But can you imagine it?
Can you hear the cacophonous sound?
Like strangers on the subway- they hit the walls and crash back into you
The echoes hitting every wall of this great church
And, by anything the breathes, you couldn't hear yourself scream even if you tried

There's always been too much noise in my mind
Who's voice is that-
Who's singing me to sleep?
My bones shake
I shiver and it makes such a noise
An inconsequential noise you'll never hear
Even if you did, it wouldn't be in time

The fight scenes in movies are in time
As they beat each other, my heart beats with them
Music swells like bruises and pours over like blood
Singing is just like screaming except
They don't put it in action movies

Some people sing in the shower and some set up playlists
I don't need to
I used to think it was the way the sound reverberated that made it sound like an orchestra
With every shower, a new piece
But sometimes it sounds like a choir, a piano, a brass quintet
And I'm beginning to suspect it's not there at all
It's just me, seeing faces in shadows
And hearing melodies in noise
Like strangers on a subway, it's my choice whether or not they exist to me
There's always been too much music in my head-

But can you imagine it?


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  • June 13, 2020 - 2:07pm (Now Viewing)

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1 Comment
  • Maya'sTired

    I love how well the sounds speak through the words used here.

    5 months ago