BreeRocker girl with a soft side.
Secretary 50 year old dead lady trying to be hip. She also needs a new hip.
VickyJust doing her best in this world
Totally not pretending to be religious for the sake of power and privilage
Modern Day ACT I
(The entrance to Hell)
Secretary Welcome to Hell. Name?
(Bree looks around.)
Bree Wait, this is Hell? I thought Hell is supposed to be all flame, fire, death, bleh!
Yeah, Satan kinda gave us a bad rep. He’s chill now though, homie. Name?
Bree Bree Langford.
(Secretary glances at her computer)
Secretary Bree Langford…. It says you drowned. Is that true?
(Bree nods sadly and a single tear rolls down her face)
Narrator Now, Bree isn’t the emotional type. But death? Yeah, that’s something to cry about.
Secretary Alright, you are good to go! Down the hall to the left.
Narrator As Bree walks down the hall to the left, questions are swirling around her head. Why is Hell so happy and… Not scary? The only scary thing so far is how hard that secretary is trying to cool, Bree thinks.
(Bree turns left into a dark room with a single loveseat in the middle. As soon as she sits down, a hologram of a goofy looking guy shows up.
Satan Welcome to Hell! As you probably guessed, I’m Satan! Now, you are probably wondering why Hell is so not hellish. Long story short, I lost my temper and gave us a bad name. People in Hell aren’t mean like all the books say. Or should I say, book. If you know what I mean. People in Hell are just misunderstood. If you have ever felt like people didn’t understand you, you come to Hell when you die. If you are totally horrible, you go to another place. I may or may not be banned from saying its name, but that is another story. Ok, so I believe that is it. Oh, one more thing. Every Wednesday at 5:30 is my Q&A. Everyone is allowed one question for me to answer. Have fun and can’t wait to see you on Wednesday!
(Hologram flickers and then disappears)
Bree (quietly) Mom would freak if she saw all this!
And alas, Bree is not wrong. Vicky Langford was epitome of a Christian, southern woman. Bree and Vicky had a complicated relationship. “Stop playing the Devil’s music!” Vicky would always yell. “Mom, it’s Salomon Jadassohn. He lived, like, forever ago! It’s classical music! Piano!” Bree would say. “Yes dear, but I did some research, and he was Jewish. Not good.” Bree would roll her eyes and plug in her headphones and tell Vicky she was listening to Christian music. But of course, it was still Jadassohn. Speaking of people flipping out, her classmates would flip out if they found out that the edgy Bree Langford listened to classical music. Leather jackets and Bach don’t exactly mix.
(Raina enters stage left)
Bree, I presume?
Um, yeah. That’s me.
I’m nice to meet you!
Oops, did I seriously say that again? My name is Raina. Nice to meet you. If you would come this way?
(Raina motions to the right and Bree looks at her doubtfully)
Why? The sign says to exit there. Which I was going to do.
Oh, Bree, you crack me up! You see, you are the one hundredth seventh grader to die from drowning and come to Hell. That definitely deserves a reward! You and Satan will have a little chat, have some cookies… You know, become chums!
(Bree raises her eyebrows)
I’ll pass. Having tea with Satan isn’t exactly on my bucket list. Also, no one, and I mean no one, says chums anymore.
Oh, silly! Satan hates tea! You will be having lemonade. It will be fun!
(Bree walks out the exit with Raina, and into a big room.)
(Vicky turns around to reveal her face)
Mom? Are you… Are you Satan?
Oh darling, no. Satan is the guy from the hologram. I’m just here for answers.
Answers? What about?
What happened last summer?
Mom, how did you know?
Doesn’t matter. I know something happened. But what happened that is so scandoulous you could never tell me about it?
(Fog appears and starts rising from the ground, covering and hiding Bree)
(Bree wakes up from her dream in her bed)
Bree What the…. That was crazy.
(Bree gets out of her bed)
No one can know about what happened last summer. No one.