Peer Review by L3X∅L∅TL (United States)

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Bad Days

By: Princess Maria


FREE WRITING

The first thing Madelyn’s mother said when she saw her baby daughter was, “she looks so ordinary.” Indeed, as she grew she was pretty much average in appearance, height, weight, and intelligence—to a certain point. It was the last that caused most of the trouble.
    Madelyn’s younger brother Jayden was…to state it honestly, a prodigy. He was reading by age two, counting at age three, adding at age four, writing essays at age five, doing algebra at age six, writing twenty-page research papers at age seven, achieving the rank of first violinist in their local strings program at age eight, and this year he was entering into a robotics competition which he fully intended to win.
    For a family where both parents had graduated from Ivy league schools, Madelyn’s failure to finish the fifth grade for the second time was unbelievably embarrassing, more so because her brother was such a genius. And now, as her chauffeur drove her home from her private school, the embarrassment grew worse. It’s a good thing my parents are at that dinner with the President, or they’d find out right away, she thought, looking down at her report card with a feeling of failure.
    This day couldn’t get any worse, she decided, thinking back to the morning, when the cook had made a disgusting dish for breakfast—lamb haggis, which was Jayden’s favorite. And then they were late for school because she’d forgotten her backpack. Jayden had teased her all on the ride there because she didn’t know the capital of Maine, until she was ready to shove him out into the traffic. School was worse. Her picture in the yearbook was blurry and an inaccurate portrayal of her personality anyway (it had her scowling because the photographer smelled like he hadn’t washed in two days), and nobody had signed it. Worst of all, when she’d tried to eat lunch with the lonely girl she’d been attempting to make friends with all year long, the kid snapped at her because she’d found out Madelyn’s academic past. And the report card topped it—D’s in nearly everything except math and English, and those were F’s. Oh, and science. A in that, believe it or not. She knew she was really in for it now, once Mr. and Mrs. Smith of Smith and Associates Law Firm came back from their dinner and realized what a failure she was.

Short character sketch thing I wrote.

Peer Review

I don't usually review stories, only prose and poetry due to length but, "The first thing Madelyn’s mother said when she saw her baby daughter was, “she looks so ordinary.”', drew me right in.


Is Madelyn currently in her 3rd year of 5th grade?


Reviewer Comments

Nice piece, I admire third person writing because I can't do it without being boring. you can and it's great :)