Peer Review by L3X∅L∅TL (United States)

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Don't You Remember?

By: IAN LAKINGER


FREE WRITING

The blackness,
A great solum void.
A man and a woman stand by My bedside,
In the red, no, blue room.
The people: nurses? No.
Who are they? I wonder.
A feeling deep inside,
An immense dejá vu.
I’m so tired.
A television plays old westerns,
but I can’t retain attention,
They look at me, like they know me,
Their presence is uncomfortable,
 so I ask the strangers to leave,
And against one’s strong dismay,
 the other pulls them away.
The woman cries and a child runs to hug her legs.
A television plays old westerns,
In the gree- no blue room.
A strange feeling fading.
The television plays old westerns,
but I can’t retain attention,
I’m so tired,
Maybe if I just take a small nap.


Peer Review

What I got from this is you're in a retirement home when your family visits, your daughter, her husband, and their child. The woman is upset that you don't regonize her, her husband pulls her away as your grandchild cries. I think the main thing here is alzheimer's, that's why the narrator is like this, why they can't remeber the color of the room they're in and know that nurses come to visit.


I'd like to know if I was right any and the relation of the people to the narrator. Who pulled away who, which person's parent was the narrator?


Reviewer Comments

Nice job , sounds about right if it is Alzhimeir's.