Peer Review by Karen Umeora (United States)

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The End

By: BeTheChange18


PROMPT: Now to Then

Music will stop
And don't try to convince me that
Everything will go great
Because if you have a closer look
The world is quite a terrible place

Even if
Some sounds do shine through every so often
And it's true that
It's all in the soul and the mind
Because
True music can be obtained
If there's a piano near

I'm sure that you can agree that
Harmony cretes peace
Out of tune we always know
Life won't function
Without a desire


Message to Readers

Read again starting from the bottom :)


Peer Review

At first, I didn't understand how your piece was in reverse chronology. Instead, I thought your piece brought such a sad, unmotivating message. Then I saw your little comment to read it in reverse. I LOVED IT SO MUCH! It takes effort to write a poem that works well reversed and the normal way. Believe me, I tried. This piece is so good, and I can see the hard work you put into this. Good job.


There was only one place in the poem I felt confused. It's the second line. Before I had seen the message to read it in reverse, that line didn't make sense to me. I thought, "Don't you mean to say 'otherwise' not 'that.'" I believe 'otherwise' would work better reading it the normal way. However, it doesn't work as good reading it reverse. I suggest removing that line completely to avoid confusion.


Reviewer Comments

This piece oozes effort. I always love to see pieces that people tried their hardest on. Great job! Thank you for writing this amazing piece! :)

If you have any questions, leave a comment. I'll get back to it as fast as I can!

Keep on writing!

- Karen