Peer Review by L3X∅L∅TL (United States)

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Raveled Winters.

By: avievasive


FREE WRITING

Do you see the stars brooding overhead?
Because I don't.

You don't look at me, but you break into a smile. I can see the stars in the glossy, flickering reflection of your eyes and we finally share furtive glances. The evening deepens. The mellifluous sounds grow louder than ever.
Can you feel them drumming to the sound of our heartbeats? 

The crisp, crinkled waves of the dewy grass blades are set ablaze by the sheer moonlight. My thoughts have never been this loud. They drown the chirping of the crickets and silence that follows; all in a bid to echo your name. 
I've found you in this lifetime. I will continue to find you in all that follow. I'm still looking at you. My eyes moisten with the memories we have trudged through so far, but my lingering gaze on you never flickers. You have noticed this, haven't you? 
Please say something. Anything.
You don't.
You can't.

The dandelions sway dangerously in the bitter winds that overcome the soft patch of land we're lying on. Winter has started to unravel itself, in the harshest way that it possibly can. The cold ripples across our bodies in progressive waves. I can hold my gaze no more. Here, have my jacket. I'm simply returning the warmth of the home that you gave me.

The stars continue to dance in the sublime depths of your eyes, and I gaze again, but fondly this time. Admiration takes over me and I lean towards the side that's closest to you.
There, don't move now. You've managed to collect all the stars in your eyes. 


Message to Readers

Hi mates! As usual, any kind of feedback on any aspect of my writing is highly appreciated! Thank you and happy reading!


Peer Review

My. Heart. There are TEARS in my eyes! This is so great and sweet and amazing!


I don't have any questions here, everything I need is here.


Reviewer Comments

Thank you for sharing, it's an incredible piece, keep at it.