Peer Review by Karen Umeora (United States)

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12/11/19

By: Norah


PROMPT: Lyrical Stratum

LIGHTS
The technical booth of our black box is decked out for the holidays, lights strung between all the inside jokes and rolling chairs, and we can turn the overheads off, left only with the gentle glow of Christmas lights. Be said she’d bringing in a Menorah, but only after we failed to find one in the props closet. 

BLUE
I look up Elizabeth Warren’s Blue New Deal as the world shimmers outside the window, the sky as round as a snow-globe. My teacher thinks that they should stop everything, that the school is failing us, that our education is failing us. I look listlessly up at a projection explaining existentialism, and then back outside. 

LIGHTS
It’s snowing in the morning, and by evening the world is still and pillowed with white. The night is brighter after it’s snowed, the street-lamps reflecting off the ground. There is no malice in this winter yet, I feel held in it’s hospitable palm.

DREAM
I’ve been dreaming in maybes and hellos since the beginning, but now it’s just a tilted stage, again and again. I must memorize my entire life, as I fall asleep, I agonize about the moments I will miss the most, I smell last year’s trip to Europe on the wind.

INVENTORY
My heart is not broken yet, nor am I not yet hopeful, I do not ache for the afterlife. I have already stretched the trampoline of my own terror taut, and my own desire is as trampled as it could ever be. I, lovely, read books on the bus home, through the new snow.


Message to Readers

wow here's my day today. this is what happened...enjoy


Peer Review

Its gives a timeline of key events that happened today for you without actually having to say it.


I have no questions.


Reviewer Comments

I think your piece has so much potential to be an amazing story. However, you had so many comma and grammar errors in your story. Grammar errors can distract readers from your actual story. I did point out some of the issues, but I know I didn't get all of then.

If you have any questions about your piece, leave a comment. I'll get back to it as soon as I can :)

Keep on writing!

- Karen