There was something amazing about that day.
It was the afternoon two days before Christmas, I was awakened by the annoyingly, no snooze alarm I call Brenda, my youngest sister, who informed me that we had to look for a new dress for Christmas mass. I was irritated and complained that it was pointless to look for a new dress due to the fact I could use my old dress and since red is a prominent color for Christmas, it is a great substitute. I mean, it had what we were looking for and who was going to remember what I wore a year ago? The conversation quickly ended all thanks to my mother who yelled at me to get dressed and be out the door. Perfect.
I didn’t expect Florida to be like New York, so it was not very chilly. Driving past all those Christmas decorations out on people’s yards, listening to radio stations giving out tickets to see a concert during the winter break, and seeing pictures of some social media stars posing in their before Christmas outfits in some tropical weather, it left me with a dark hole in my heart.
I’ve spent Christmas not going on vacation to December’s hot spots and partaking in the whole holiday cheer that dealt with setting up the Christmas tree, participating in secret Santa, and being invited to an ugly sweater party. All these heart-warming activities made me think something was wrong with me. And this family.
Entering this already crowded and loud mall, I already knew that we were going to be here for a very long time. My sister, Maureen, is the tallest person in this family, me being second. She was six feet while I was five ten. My mother had two could've-been-put-on-the-basketball-team daughters in her hands. It was a hassle to find a dress that could fit us. So we had to move it!
The mall was playing the ole’ Christmas carols as if it were a yoga class that kept us at peace, our minds relax and our bodies. This was no walk in the park! Seriously, we spent four hours going through the racks, asking the employees for help, and going in the fitting rooms when we thought we found the perfect dress only for it to not look as good as it did on the hanger and it was back to square one!
After the whole fiasco, we found our dresses. The line was not as long so we paid, he bagged our dresses, handed us our receipt and cash back, and we got out of there exhausted! Back home, the television was on a Christmas marathon so I watched undisturbed with the black hole in my heart.
Christmas came fast, and like before, we had to be out the door to attend Christmas mass. When I entered inside the church, it was beautifully decorated. It left some light in my darkened heart. Red was such a beautiful color. I thought about the passion and hard work behind all this. I was seated next to my family who was happily singing the songs and giving praises. I asked myself, what am I thankful for? I looked at Maureen. She’s not coughing and wheezing. She is lively and lightens up the pew. I looked at Brenda. She’s not angry or upset. She has a spark that will not be put out tonight. I looked at my mother. She’s screaming and singing at the same time to the songs. But seeing her be passionate about her faith and beliefs puts a smile on my face. She’s having fun. I thought about my dad who was back at home, resting. He’s a hardworking man who wants nothing but the best for his daughters. Why was I such a Grinch in this joyful holiday? Why can’t I appreciate the fact that I’m spending time with my family whose been with me for seventeen years? I have a roof over my head, a plate of food everyday, and the clothes on my back… Why must I find it necessary to compare my life to others? They were happy, and I am happy. What’s the difference?
When it was time to offer peace, I hugged my family. “Merry Christmas guys!”
Oh, I remember December. It was a time to realize what a great year it’s been.