My body’s natural alarm woke me up early in the morning. I had only gotten 2 hours of sleep, but I knew I wouldn’t being able to go back to sleep. I decided to try and get up. Looking out of the window, I saw the calm gray sky as snow covered the ground. My body was numb, I could barely feel anything emotionally. The holiday season was quickly approaching, sadly I wasn’t able to feel the joy and happiness from it anymore. Very slowly, dreading the day ahead of me, I walked to the bathroom to shower and get ready for the day.
The hot water filled the room with steam. Stepping into the shower, the hot water melting away some of the pain inside of me. I wish I could just stay like this forever, not having to deal with anything anymore. When my best friend moved back to California, my life took a big turn. It’s crazy to me, I never thought I could miss someone this much. He really was one of the greatest people I had ever met. He always cheered me up, I miss all of the time we spent together, he was the one who kept me together. I haven’t had the motivation to do anything, I have to push myself because I have stuff that needs to be done. I just want to sleep, but even doing that requires effort. I can’t fall asleep till the early hours of the morning, usually only getting two or three hours of sleep.
Hopping out of the shower is the worst part; it’s cold and you have to face the day. Getting dressed, I was thinking about what I was going to do for the day. I really didn’t want to, but because of my parent's health conditions, I had to at least shovel the driveway for them. It was the least I could do for them after all they do for me. I went downstairs to get some breakfast. As I opened the fridge, the cold air brushed my skin, sending chills down my spine. There was nothing I wanted to eat; I'll skip breakfast again. I rarely ate breakfast; I just never have the time.
After not being able to find anything I wanted to eat. I put on my coat and my boots. As I opened the garage, the bitter cold air overcame me. The snow was coming down hard, but if I didn’t shovel the driveway now, it would be much harder later. The air was clear and crisp, the light gray sky made it look brighter than it was. There was about 7 inches of snow already on the ground. After the driveway was cleared, I took off my many layers of wet clothing. My body steaming because of my warmth in the cold. Walking back into my house to the sound of my brothers arguing and my mom trying to reason with them. The smell of cinnamon in the air. I was tired both physically and mentally. They always argue about the littlest reasons. Then drag me into when all I want to do is be alone.
I walked up stair back to the shower. Sleep and showers are the best part of the day. Sleep is rare for me; my mind is constantly awake. The steam once again filled the room, the hot water ran down my skin, releasing my stress temporarily. Hopping out of the shower, I put on comfortable clothes. It was only 9 A.M. but I didn’t want to deal with anything. I went to my bed and laid down. Closing my eyes, trying to push everything out. Wanting life to change, but I have to put the effort in for something to change. Slowly drifting asleep, putting the world behind me.