r|A|i|N

United States

"ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which i will not put."

Message to Readers

edgily short titles instead

drought summer #kickoff

January 22, 2020

FREE WRITING

10
2.
on these days the world screams in my ear and i sit in the
backyard and pull apart
bird feathers.  the landmass sobs dust. my lungs hiss
and seethe, stab my skin,
and i start
eating up the air to see what it will do.

3.
little by little, i have brought oklahoma
into my room.  dust crawls on bare surfaces and wings sleep
in the walls.  i have piles of bones
and teeth and ribboned gyres of animal flesh.
i hope i will be the first to catch a
disease.  i hope the doctors will look stunned and
stuck amidst paper and checkboxes.

4.
some day it will be cold.  i will
stand in pink skin until my lips turn
black and the dust sinks and sings.  there will be rain.
on this day, rain
will reach into my lungs and heart and my eyes and find
something deep and meaningful.  with black lips
i will rejoice having escaped this drought
summer.

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  • January 22, 2020 - 4:34pm (Now Viewing)

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4 Comments
  • r|A|i|N

    thank you!!


    9 months ago
  • Dmoral

    "little by little, i have brought oklahoma"
    I couldn't not bring up this line. There's a simplicity and innocence to it I cannot understand. It definitely calls to me. Perhaps it's because I can relate and I did this in my younger years.
    "i hope i will be the first to catch a / disease. i hope the doctors will look stunned and / stuck amidst paper and checkboxes."
    These lines were amazing. I loved the vanity aspect and desire to be something special, and it calls to this side of the reader as well. I feel as though everyone has had these thoughts or felt this way at some point, so the fact you were able to touch on that is amazing.
    "i will rejoice having escaped this drought / summer."
    Ironically, the last lines are my favorite. I love how the title ties in and it's clear and direct why it's significant. Your word choice in these lines was amazing, like "rejoice" and "escaped". This part always ties up everything wonderfully which made me smile.
    Amazing job & lovely work! Best of luck!


    9 months ago
  • babybluelamentations

    asdfghjdgshhskll whyy is this so beautiful? your imagery is as heartbreakingly gorgeous as seeing the rain after a drought. Amazing job with this piece. The simple joy in the last two lines is just everything <3


    11 months ago
  • Dmoral

    there will be separate placings for each prompt


    11 months ago