Hey guys. You might seem a little confused at the moment...
Because I have spinal issues, and extreme pain, I had to get a 504 plan. If you don't know what that is, it's basically the ability to get out of class and move, have a yoga ball for a chair, get a stand-up desk, or have any kind of cushion to comfort me a little.
Along with disabilities comes a lot of negative feedback. Because I was in extreme pain, and kind of looked stupid when trying to solve the issues, people started mocking me, calling me names, and laughing at my in-capabilities. I was called a cripple, a kindergartner, selfish, ridiculous, ugly, disabled, stupid, unintelligent, liar, and so many more. Kids would point at me, and even some teachers would whisper to eat other about me when they thought I couldn't hear.
It doesn't stop there. No. I came home, crying and feeling sick to my stomach. I needed a moment to myself, but upon seeing me cry, my mom forcefully tried to give me a hug. I started bawling, not wanting her near me 'cause I was a train wreck, and because she'd try to pry the living soul out of me if she could.
I go upstairs to my destroyed bedroom, and flop onto the bed. I start to have a really bad mental breakdown, and feel miserable. I don't know what's right side up, or left side down. I feel completely worthless, and uncared for. Something inside me snapped and I decided I was going to cut myself off from the world. Upon further notice, I realized something. I hadn't been writing all that much in the past week, was struggling due to personal health issues, stress from tests, and the anxiety of being ridiculed.
I'm SO sorry. I promise I'm never going to write anything like that again unless I'm for realz leaving.
Love you guys for putting up with my awful moods.
It's never okay to laugh at someone because they're in pain. Never do that.