Peer Review by Cassopeia Black (Australia)

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By: Kara Webber

PROMPT: Monologue

It all started with you saving me. I had been six feet under for four months when you carried my soul out of hell. You tried to speak to me in Enochian, but you soon found that I was not one who could understand. When you realized this, you found a man who had been praying for an angel and took him as your vessel so that you could speak to me. That night in the barn I tried to stab you; I was scared and confused, and not to mention didn’t believe in angels. You calmly explained yourself while I denied everything you said. That night would change my life forever. You never left my side. Through every nasty, messy thing that happened to me, to us, you stayed. And I knew you could read minds, but I couldn’t help myself- your eyes, though not technically yours, were so beautiful. I found during the few times you had to leave your vessel for a day or two that he looked… different. When it was you moving with his legs, speaking with his lips, they became yours. Aside from being beautiful, you were always there for me. Even when you made mistakes, even when the other angels stole you, you always chose me first. I’ve never understood that- but I think I’m beginning to. You needed me, need me, as much as I need you. And that’s the thing- I need you just as much as you need me. So you can't leave. I-I, uh, really need you. Please don’t go. You know how bad I am at expressing how I feel, but please don’t leave.

[ANGEL smiles sadly]

Peer Review

Impulsive, closed-off, and intelligent.

Yes, I was confused with the part when you said, " When it was you moving his legs, speaking with his lips, they became yours," Mostly because you didn't really explain how when the angel 'took the vessel' , it actually 'became' it. I thought the vessel was simply a translator. Later I understood, but I think if you expanded on 'took him as your vessel' and explained how the angel took the vessel as a host body; then the monologue would be so much better.

Reviewer Comments

A little difficult to understand at times, but otherwise it was great! It was very expressive, engaging and captivating! I love how you were able to write the man perfectly! I think the man's phrases: "I-I, uh, really need you," and "You know how bad I am at expressing how I feel, but please don't leave,"; expressed his humanity and hesitance to describe himself perfectly. Great job!