Peer Review by Squirrel (United States)

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December in Snapshots

By: BurningMidnightOil


Snow-licked dawns are ushered in by the frozen breath of the frost faeries. The little shimmering things that flit on the surface of the rolling hills of white. I lay in bed, burrowing deep in to warm covers, trying to soak in the last vestiges of the lingering heat in the cocoon. I was no stranger to frost-bitten, cold-crusted mornings. 

I slid clumsily into the bathroom whilst wrestling furry caterpillars of red socks onto my numb feet. The hallway smelt positively sinful. The rich, sweet aroma of crisp chocolate waffles and hot cream-topped drinks wafted into the second floor. I would soon join my family at the table, decorating our breakfasts with crimson and midnight berries daubed in creamy clouds.

Cabin-fever tickled unrelentingly at the tips of my fingers. I wouldn’t be able to cease the tapping and drumming my fingers were so enraptured by. I longed to run outdoors and reach for the hot, hot sunshine. But alas, the snowdrifts were high and the temperatures, below freezing point. My sister and I would play a little game of ours: reminiscing over our best summer memories. From the afternoon prancing beneath the cool spray of the lawn sprinklers to the firefly infested evenings where we biked around our neighbourhood and watched the sun baulk at the weight of the intense, psychedelic colours.

I’d remember, all of a sudden, that it was Winter Break. I’d pause, the notion sinking itself into my subconsciousness. I would have almost all the time in the world if I wish it so. But of course, there would be only one and the best possible way to waste such a vast amount of time—indulging myself with all eight Harry Potter instalments over the course of a few days along with a bag of crisps.

Of course, I’d regret the idea quite fiercely, in retrospect. I lamented over the loss of several days of practice hours. I could have cherished the time I was so lucky to be given to hone my crafts. 

In the afternoon, when I sat in my favourite chair, the chair in which the most wondrous of writing ideas take root in my mind, I watch my breath fog on the glass. Christmas would soon arrive, bringing the festive cheer into the atmosphere. As of late, the idea of presents I might receive on Christmas has begun to lose its splendour; the joy of Christmas should be spun around a spool of family and friends. Presents are simply singular objects that are given to express the thankfulness. 

It saddens me, knowing that for some, Christmas is only about the things they may acquire, contrary to what I believe. There are so many other little boys and girls our there that may be thinking that Santa Claus forgot about them when in reality, they’re guardians haven’t the money to buy the toys they long to have. In reality, as everyone has skimmed the surface of this concept, the fragility of life; what point is a gift when the one who bestowed it was not there to see you open it?

As the last few days of the year clock away, I will be faced with the daunting task of setting a goal or motto for the year. For the past few years, as I have begun to mature, my motto has been thus, sacrifices must be made for the happiness of others. I find it important that each and every one of us, give our very best in an attempt to be selfless. Perhaps letting someone else have the last of something may give you a bit of heartache, but seeing his or her face light up is worth it.

After, New Year's Eve would pass, nearly everyone I know, mourning over the resolutions that were never actually fulfilled. And once the New Year has stomped its snowy boots on my doorstep, I would begin envying the laze of the winter sun, as I would not have the luxury as such until December stopped at my door again. 

Finished: (10/12/2019 6:22PM)

 

Message to Readers

Critiques and feedback are always appreciated as they aid my pursuit for improvement:) Thank you!


Peer Review

I really admire the tone of the voice, from what I can tell you seem to be a calm person, a peacemaker and It reflects in the way your story is written. I also really enjoy the way the story is told, I think it is very effective and very beautiful.


I think for you the month of december isn't that of childish magic but more giving things up for others because they are worth it, and is a very self sacrificing month.


I wish you might have spent some more time on the imagery in the first and last paragraphs, as well as putting something in the middle. The story is really beautiful and your words are a paintbrush on a canvas, just wishing for a little bit more color (figurativly speaking).


I was satisfied with the ending, and felt that it was nice, I think a bit more could have been added in there for the readers pleasure, but it was absolutely beautiful just the way it was.


This is really great, you should seriously make this into a short book! I really like it so far and with a little more fine tuning you could totally win!


Reviewer Comments

Thank you for writing this, it paints a really nice picture of the holidays for you, and I can see the story as well as feel it.