Peer Review by Vannah (United States)

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Falling

By: AudienceOfOne


FREE WRITING

I feel like I'm falling
But the ground never comes
The wind just keeps on whistling
Tossing me about
I want to tell it to stop
I just want to rest
But I keep falling
Farther and farther
It seems like whenever
I close my eyes
I just keep falling faster
Like the wind just wants 
To push me
Until I can't breathe
Until I really do 
Hit the bottom
They say someday
This feeling
It'll go away
And I'll soar into a new world
Where the wind will guide me 
Where I can close my eyes
And dream
Someday 
I won't fall
But I'll fly
So just for that
I'll hang on
Amidst these brutal winds
A little longer


Message to Readers

This poem is really supposed to represent how someone would feel when they are stressed, or something of that sort. But, even when you're feeling stressed, remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and it's gonna be okay. Thanks for reading!!!::)


Peer Review

I really like the mood of this poem. The rapidity and motion felt fast and breathful, like a roller coaster, but smooth. Idk it was just really good. Is it meant to be read allowed? it seems like it.


I only have two suggestions, 1) break it into stanzas, this will make the flow and read of the poem easier, like separating thoughs and spacing it out, like a transition almost. 2) grammar. You didn't have any periods or commas and I think including those will improve the read of the poem as well. Perhaps this is a personal opinion, but: I understand you probably didn't include stanzas/grammar for aesthetic reasons, but I found it annoying to read without any formatting. While I didn't care for that aspect so much, that's not going to be everyone's opinion. I love the poem, and whatever you choose do to, you're talent with words will shine through.


Reviewer Comments

You're talented