Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
If y'all want some background, there's this guy that spent a lot of time dumping his personal problems on me and then asked me out last year; I very kindly told him no, he was like "cool no big deal." I'm happy, finished freshman year, got through the summer, asked a girl out, she said nah, bounced back, met someone awesome when I got back to school, now we're dating, I'm excited... Fuckboi over here from freshman year science won't leave me alone. Sends messages. Slides into dms. Becomes an all-around creepbag. And I hate it.
So remember kids, no means no. Not maybe, not I'll think about it, not I'll change my mind someday. It's no.
On that delightful note, please comment on what you like/didn't like. I wanted to do a return to sonnets to round out the month, and this was an event I needed to process. :)
I really appreciate your Shakespearean allusions -- I love Shakespeare -- and I loved even more the Shakespearean diction you couple them with. The ending couplet was a stark turning point for me (as to be expected with any Shakespearean sonnet). I was delighted to read the first stanza, as it revealed a lot about where the sonnet would entail. Good job.
I would say maybe strengthen the resolve. Rather than resorting to death (because, let's face it, death can be a little cliche) think of another way the speaker can seek refuge. Give the reader something to think about with the last lines that would still be just as sharp and poignant, but strikes differently and ties in with your overall themes better.
Also, I would like to compliment your devotion to iambic pentameter all the way through. I would, however like to perhaps suggest that you now follow the rhythmic stresses as well. Although you filled the syllables correctly, try choosing words that would naturally be read like da DA da DA da DA da DA da DA. (Also line 3, because you made "would not" a contraction, does not meet syllabic requirements; "wouldn't" would be read as one syllable in that case so you can go ahead and make it two.) I found lines 10 and 14 executed this rhythmic stress the best as they sound natural when read aloud so I know you are capable. Try matching future sonnets to this as well. But overall, good job -- tackling Shakespearean sonnets is not an easy task and you're doing it well. Keep it up!