Peer Review by Vannah (United States)

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By: Ryndi_g


I look at old photos of a younger me,
she is smiling, bright and alive. 
she is ignorant, so she is free. 
She hasn't yet understood her present,
What I now define as a painful past. 
She was dying; but so unaware
Sadly, this would not last. 

 I look back to then and my tears stain the pages;
the ink runs, blurring those entries of so long ago. 
I cry, knowing this journal was the solace in my cage. 
Holding it, I feel everything again, in waves. 

Only now, instead of writing
I turn to the comfort of rebellion;
things to make me feel further from myself.
I find it easier to let pretty boys with big eyes 
tell me who to be, high and numb. 

It is more simple to reach the end of the bottle 
than the end of my pain. 
The truth is, I lost touch. 
I wish I were myself again. 
But who would that even be?

My reflection can only be seen in murky waters;
unsure and disfigured. 
So many people are around. 
Voices, faces, brushing past. 
They know my name. They may know more. 
But none know me. 
Because there is no me.
There used to be,
in these journals that I hold. 
But she is gone, with the hurt of years ago. 


Peer Review

This holds such an important story. Because it is a reality. It's extremely emotionally powerful.

You carry the reader through a story of life and how childhood trauma changes you ad affects you growing up. The picture you paint is crystal clear. Honestly I really like the piece as is, but if you wanted to do something, maybe add to how people have different stories, with happy endings, but this isn't one. That could be added after the: "high and numb" stanza, but it really doesn't even need to be added.

Reviewer Comments

Are there any lines/stanza's you're unsure about?Overall I love this piece.