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Message to Readers
Any comments at all help so please feel free to give any feedback. Thanks!
The dialogue of this piece was something to be admired; the way it guided your story and chiseled the juxtaposition to a sharp and poignant point was beautiful to say the least. I loved living with these characters if only for a moment. It warmed my heart. Thank you.
Family and Simplicity.
I would have liked to see more specific character development in the older sister. You have a brilliant instance of the beginnings of this in "She knows it won't snow" to "Cold, miserable, mocking December rain." I think you could use this opportunity to expand a bit further into why this rain is "mocking" and perhaps what the rain might symbolize for her: Do they represent her views of the town in which she lives? Does she feel kept down by the smallness and the "cold"? Is she sick of her parents? Are there any bigger issues that could be cast into the rain?
I did feel satisfied by the ending. I appreciate the intertwining of laughter and finality with the line "I dunno about the carrot, but I'll consider the hat." Again, this line might be strengthened by previous mentions of a more specified pessimism -- but it is still a wonderful closing to an emotionally fulfilling piece.
Your character revealings through dialogue are spot-on. The childish tangents of the younger sister versus the curt replies of the older one make the story interesting and captivating beginning to end. Your description after dialogue and the depiction of hair specifically exemplify understanding of people and story-telling. I would love to see more of your work in the future.
Perhaps delve deeper into metaphor. I recognize this is a piece that expounds upon simplicity and timid character, but in future works maybe consider the thematic building of superobjective through a larger, overarching body of comparison. Just a thought. It may vary your work and make for a more impactful ending with depth if you ever wanted something more three-dimensional. Great work.