“In the darkness, two shadows, reaching through the hopeless heavy dusk. Their hands meet, and light spills in a flood, like a hundred golden urns pouring out the sun.” -Madeline Miller, “The Song Of Achilles.”


Message to Readers

I had a dream like a week ago where I was asking my dream characters questions and they did *not* like that. They all got rather angry at me, actually. And here’s this now.

And There’s A Journey In Here Somewhere

November 22, 2019


Some rules:
  • ​Do not ask the dream characters where there eyes are.
Last time you did this, a shadow settled itself over your honey-coloured vision. The bystanders, they put on masks. The sky; it split open from the force of their malevolence.
  • Remember that most gods have permission to die by the side of country roads.
It’s hard to look, no? The golden blood veining out across the ground. The harsh breathing and the unholy twirl of their wrists. Do not clip their wings; the afterlife has too many cliffs to jump off.
  • You’ve got to remember that this may feel like heartache now, but these are the seeds of vengeance. They’ll hurt as first, as the sprouts burst from your skin, but soon they’ll lead you to the peak of that mountain.
”The mountain air is wildly sweet,” you murmur to yourself through wind-chapped lips. “It’s like a trap.” The moon rises luridly from below you. You take a breath and it tastes like sugar.
  • Some days, it will be hard to stop yourself from looking through the door at the other end of the hallway. Remind yourself that you are more than your own melancholy. Close your eyes. Take a step. 
I think that there will always be an echo of you in these hallways. That does not mean you are trapped here. Please, you have to remember that.
  • No matter how calloused your hands are, it will always hurt to touch stars. I know you are used to sticking your hands into fires to try and save the worst types of people, but that is not needed here. Understand that, and perhaps, some miraculous happenstance will take place.
Not everything around you makes sense and things did start off a little sinister; I will admit that, but it’s like the moon is softening itself out now. It’s like the masks are being lifted and underneath is a visage that could be worth saving. You lean forward out the doorway and your eyes open. The sky; it brightens.
This was such a pain to format; I have a killer headache.


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1 Comment
  • Anha

    oh...my...god?? this is.... incredible? i'm having trouble formulating proper sentences rn but this is just amazing. "Remember that most gods have permission to die by the side of country roads." hits harder than anything i think i've ever read before. your writing is absolutely exquisite; my heart always leaps in my chest when i see you've posted something new.

    10 months ago