Peer Review by Sarah D (Australia)

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If I Were To Have A Daughter

By: casamiento


FREE WRITING

If I were to have a daughter, I'd paint the universe on her walls. 
If I were to have a daughter, I'd draw the Solar System on her back.
I'd teach her that our Earth is small, and our Earth is special and unique.
I'd teach her that we are small but mighty,
We can uncover the secrets of the universe or stay small.


If I were to have a daughter, I'd teach her how dangerous the world is. 
If I were to have a daughter, I'd teach her how beautiful the world can be.
I'd tell her the world is big and scary
I'd tell her if you can learn to be bigger than you'd survive
"Be brave," I'd tell her, "be humble, and strong."


If I were to have a daughter, I'd make her watch every movie and film ever made
If I were to have a daughter, I'd have her watch Twilight Zone ever summer until she falls asleep
I'd tell her sometimes we learn things from the worst things
I'd tell her sometimes it is good to lay back and do nothing, to keep your mind thinking and reeling


If I were to have a daughter, I'd tell her that sometimes you won't have enough heart to keep it in
If I were to have a daughter, I'd tell her that it's okay to cry 
I'd make sure she knows that she can yell and punch a wall
Or that she can cry and tear a photo
I'd tell her everyday that you cry so you can remember how beautiful it feels to let it out


If I were to have a daughter, she'd know how to run
If I were to have a daughter, I'd make sure her feet can carry her for miles
I want her to know that running away isn't always going to help
That avoiding the disease will make it worse


If I were to have a daughter, I'd make sure she keeps her head high
If I were to have a daughter, I'd make sure she knows how to keep her eyes wide
She'd know that the world is too big to be perfect
That the world is too small to be important 


If I were to have a daughter, she'd know that keeping her hands out isn't going to catch the rainbow
That happiness is always to far to grab but close enough to smell
She'd know that her knees will always have burns and bruises but that's nothing compared to the pain of getting back up again 
No matter how many times you stitch the hole in your jacket, it's always gonna a tear 
Sometimes it's better to let it tear 


If I were to have a daughter, she'd always be reminded that I'm her Point B. 


Message to Readers

Based on and inspired by Sarah Kay's 'If I Should Have A Daughter'. This is a first draft, I intend on cleaning it up later. Thank you for reading it.


Peer Review

The line, " "Be Brave," I'd tell her, "be humble, and strong," " is my favourite. I think it is a lovely message to want to give to a daughter.


This piece made me feel very conflicted. Some parts had phrases which made humanity and life look beautiful. But other parts left me with a feeling of despair, and the whole contradiction was quite enjoyable.


I would ask the author how long they had been thinking about what they would teach their daughter, and how they came to the decision that there were certain things that she would need to know.


Reviewer Comments

This was quite a lovely piece. It was a slight bit repetitive in some sections, but it was overall, very enjoyable.