United States

This is a backup account, my main account is plastictreeboi, follow me if you want, I may not write too well but hopefully you enjoy my writing.

Message to Readers

I wrote this one in class one day when I was having a panic attack and didn't want to start scratching again, hope it's not that bad.


November 18, 2019


I used to think tears were clear, how wrong and stupid I was because tears are in fact, not clear at all! I used to think crying was a once in a while thing, that you only cry on occasion. like if you cut your knee on the sidewalk or if you got in trouble for accidentally spilling water on the table at a restaurant because your clumsy. I got used to the physical pain and stopped eating out as much as I could so I would never cry again. Now, I see crying as a daily struggle you have to just push through. Tears are not clear. Tears are hot, almost like a fire of pain. Tears are jet black and never fully leave. Tears block my vision when I feel helpless and alone, which is almost always. Tears are there when my mom is screaming at me to get my grades up because otherwise, I'm just going to be another "slut on the street". Tears are there when I'm trying to focus on my homework but my drunk father is there screaming at me that I'm doing it wrong and that i'm nevergoing to be anything in life so I might as well give up now. I can fight my tears, I try to. I push them away and laugh them off. I write and draw and read to distract my tears. I can feel them rushing in like a waterfall of hurt right now, I cant cry though. I never cry at school, their gonna judge me and shes in this class. She cant see me like this, not anymore.


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  • November 18, 2019 - 5:46pm (Now Viewing)

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