United States


November 19, 2019

My dad and I stood in front of the grave site. It was raining heavily but we didn’t really care. The air was stuffy due to my dad’s cigarette smoke. I made a mental note to pick it up later. I was looking at my shoes, I couldn’t bear the shame of looking at where I put my mother. It was quiet for a while until my dad broke it. “We’re heading back” He threw the cigarette down and started walking away. I picked up the used cigarette and threw one last look at the grave before chasing after my father.
Upon reaching home the first place my dad went to was the fridge. No doubt looking for whiskey or wine or whatever contraption he drinks. I slumped down on the couch staring at the t.v.
“Didn't I tell you never touch my whiskey, Sabrina.”
“I didn't touch it.”
“Well it didn't up and disappear now did it.”
    “You probably finished it.”
That was the end of that. After that I heard some grumbling and incoherent words. No whiskey meant buying more whiskey, buying more whiskey meant no food, no food meant food at Heather’s house. I laid down on the couch until I heard the sound of the car driving away. I grabbed my coat and looked at the time: 6:00 pm, I probably had an hour before my dad returns. I closed the front door then quickly walked out of the house on my way to Heather's house.
As I went down the street I noticed mothers calling their children inside, friends walking down the street, cars entering their garages and I felt sadness well up inside me. I shook the thought away as I approached Heather’s house.
“Oh honey you came” Heather said balancing her two twins on either side of her. “I'm sorry for imposing.” “Oh pish posh it's all good” She beckoned me into the house and I followed.
“I haven't made dinner yet,” she said “these twins are a handful.”
“I’ll watch them.”
“Would you? Aww thats so sweet.”
“It's the least I can do” 
Heather set the twins down next to me turning on Dora the Explorer. As I watched the twins and as Heather cooked she tried to make small talk. 
    “So how's your father honey.”
    “He ain't smoking in the house now is he?”
    “Not after what you told him”
    “You still got that hamster?”
    “It followed mom”
The conversation ended there. I wasn’t one to talk about what happened to my mom. I often dodged and curved the question, jumping obstacles and leaping over mountains. I felt bad for ending it like that so I tried to start a conversation.
    “How’s Bill?”
    “Oh you know Bill, working hard to keep us up and going” she answered with a hint of sadness in her voice.
    “He’s still working late?”
    She sighed “I wish I could do something.”
I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. “Maybe I should go” I said dropping the twins down on the floor. “Oh no please don’t go, the twins love you.” I looked over at Amy and Ashley, they were staring at me expectantly. I sat back down again, “Only for today” I murmured looking at Heather. She gave me a beaming smile.
    After dinner at Heather’s I carefully snuck back into the house. I crept up the stairs flinching when it made a noise. I opened the door to my room and screamed and crouched down when I saw a figure sitting on my bed. “Dad?” I asked my hand on my chest. I stood up and turned on the light and there he was with a frown on his face.
“Where did you go?”
“I was hungry”
“And what about our fridge?” He yelled
I stepped back “The foods spoilt”
He stood up causing me to step back again “Do you want me to do everything thing in this house?” He asked
“You barely do anything” I murmured
We stayed silent for a while before my dad pushed me out of the way slamming the door on his way out. I sighed rubbing my temples before collapsing on my bed, Tomorrows Monday.

I couldn’t sleep at night, waking up from nightmares trying to fall asleep just for it to happen again. Around 5 I stopped trying to fall back asleep. The light shone in my room signaling that dawn was cracking. I forced myself to get out of bed and get ready for school. 
I went into the bathroom squirting toothpaste onto my brush and began to brush. I looked at myself in the mirror and compared it to the picture that hung beside it. My hair wasn’t that shiny anymore due to the lack of treatment, I think I have permanent bags under my eyes, and my once bright blue eyes looks like dull and dreary. Once I couldn't stand it anymore I rinsed my mouth and went to go take a shower. I stayed there for 10 minutes letting the water run down my back. I sighed, finished taking a bath, put on a hoodie and a pair of jean before going to eat breakfast.
The house was silent as I prepared for school. I sat at the dining table eating cereal as I watched the clock. 7:47…….7:48……..7:49…...7:50. I heard someone knocking on the door. Right on time I thought. I threw the remainder of my cereal out and grabbed my backpack off the couch as I went to answer the door.
“Good Morning. How was your night? My night was stressful, I stayed up till 12 before I went to bed studying for my ap chemistry test. I’m so scared, its like I think I understand but when the test comes I just forget everything”
Peyton, bubbly, smart, pretty and kind, the person I keep pushing away but keeps coming back. The person that seems to ignore everything I say unless its something she wants to hear.


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  • November 19, 2019 - 9:29pm (Now Viewing)

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