Peer Review by Princess Maria (United States)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?

Death's Humble Inn

By: JakeFrommStateFarm


Death waits for us all,
And patiently he waits,
For it is only a matter of time
Before all men enter His gates.

"All hope abandon, ye who enter here,"
He says, "For within ye shall spend all of eternity's years."

"Put away your wails, put away your moans,
"Put away your pleas of mercy.
"For ye have had your chance on earth,
"And now you must live in my country

"Trapped thou art, never to leave."
Disheartened by this news, they crumble to their knees.

They cannot endure this torture.
There must be some escape.
"There is none," says Death,
"Your soul is mine. This Inferno is your place."

"Stuck, thou art, as instruments for my jests.
"And I assure ye, that here, thy souls shall never find rest.

"You've drank the Cup of Death once before,
"And cannot drink of it once again.
"So here you are, damned to this Hell
"As payment for your sin."

"You won't enjoy your stay at Deaths' humble inn.
"For in the game of life, Death is the only one who truly wins."

"All hope abandon, ye who enter here," is a a quote from the sign on the Gate of Hell in Dante's Inferno. 

Message to Readers

Here's a poem about death.
Any feedback you have is great (and necessary)!
Please like and follow if you enjoyed!

Peer Review

Sort of a sobering reminder that all people die eventually. Maybe hinting that there is a consequence for our choices and what we do in life will affect our eternal existence. Very deep.

Maybe add a little hope at the end instead of all dreary, because even though it is moving in that we cannot escape death, perhaps a feeling that death is not all we have to look forward to will bring a touch of lightness at the end.

Reviewer Comments

I'm impressed a young writer would know about Dante's Inferno! Plus very good use of words in this poem.