Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
I haven't published a poem in a while, so this piece is a little overdue.
I'll try to post more poems from now on!
Any feedback you have on this piece is great!
Please like and follow if you enjoyed this piece!
Again, I can't help but love how the archaic language you use in this poem helps solidify the feeling you're trying to evoke from readers. I don't know anything about the rules of using it, but if you haven't already, I suggest checking over your usage and making sure you've been using it correctly. I found this link to be helpful: http://lindblomeagles.org/ourpages/auto/2015/4/17/39615708/R_J%20Shakespearean%20love%20letter%20and%20Language.docx It also has a few other words that may inspire you for other parts, so definitely check it out! (Let me know if the link isn't working, I'll resend it)
You've pretty much answered my question from last time of whether this has a main character or not. I'm guessing this is a standalone piece from how you revised it and I like it; although I could see it longer, this alone is enough in its own way too, especially with the pronouns fixed. I still wonder about the Cup of Death. Since you've capitalized it, does it refer to something specific? Like a myth or some other story? Or do you write it as purely metaphorical? That's the only part that's still a bit fuzzy for me. Otherwise, well done.
I'm glad you worked on revising this! It's actually quite rare for someone to get back to me with revisions made on their work so I applaud you coming back to your poem instead of leaving it. The changes really helped improve this and though I pointed out a few more things I noticed, this poem is on its way to a final version!