Lady Trewlany

Hong Kong

a collection of scattered pieces that somehow fit together perfectly
in search of a great perhaps

Message from Writer

i miss everything that i've never had, and that's why i write. i write my story as it is today and as i want it to be tomorrow. there is always truth in my words.

Never Again

November 13, 2019

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I stood there, breathless, taking in the view. Every ounce of my infinite body was tingling with life. I felt the blood pulsing through my veins and the soft thumping of my steady heart. I couldn’t believe I had made it…
“Gracie! Come on, get up!”
The sweet voice of my little sister Josie ripped me out of my peaceful slumber. The blurry image of two bright eyes and a crooked smile slowly became clear as my eyes adjusted to the light. There was a calm steadiness to her as if all the storms in the world were a whispering breeze when she was there. She was kind and clever, fair and just as if she knew she was born to be the queen of the world. There was nothing princessy about her though, just fierce independence and warrior-like confidence. I loved her; we all did. 
With all the energy I could muster, I stood, feeling every bone in my body ache with pain on the long journey up. I wasn’t ready to face the day, but I didn’t think I would ever be, so I might as well start it now. It had been a long, lonely summer, and the trials and tribulations of school didn’t appeal to my weary mind. Just as I began to enter the routine spiral of negativity, I felt Josie’s lips alight on my cheek like a dew freckled petal caught in a breeze, soft and with the smallest hint of coolness. It’s like she always knew what I was thinking, always knew when the dark cloud of depression was about to pour, and every time she stopped it, bringing back the sunlight.
I got dressed, pulling on a random combination of whatever was in sight. At this stage, I couldn’t be bothered to care about what other people thought, I had too much on my mind to think about anything trivial. I stomped down the stairs, the smell of eggs and bacon wafting into my nostrils. I cringed, knowing the inevitable good morning lecture from my dad was coming.
 Never again, I thought, never again did I want to hear those sugar-coated words. 
“Gracie! GOOD MORNING! IT’S A BEAUTIFUL DAY TO BE ALIVE!”
Ever since Mom died, Dad had adopted the coping mechanism of blocking out the negativity and replacing it with fake, joyous cries. One day, the death would really hit him and I feared what would happen then. Would he retreat into a cacophony of tears, or would the madness hit him hard? There was no way of knowing. 
“Yeah. Great dad, I know. You tell me every day.”
“WELL, IT’S WORTH SAYING AGAIN!”
“Ok… Well, I’m leaving now.”
“GOODBYE! HAVE A WONDROUS DAY!”
I rolled my eyes and pushed the ancient wooden door open, as I walked out into the big wide world. The quiet days like these were feathers without hurry, moving this way and that, happy to change direction in the wind. Just as a feather will, in its own time, land upon the earth, the sun will rise and set high in the sky. Yet in each gifted moment between them, there is such freedom, an infinitely branching path with no paths at all. But today, today seemed different. There was a buzz in the air, and everything felt alive as if they were anticipating something big.
I breathed in the fresh air and began my walk towards school. The time passed slowly, just as it did every day. As I walked along, I felt my heart thumping in`my chest, and an idea sprouting in my brain. I had to get out of that house. I had known for a long time, but only now was I ready to face it. I loved Josie but every time I walked through that door I felt my body slump and my mind begin to self destruct. 
Suddenly, I felt my feet begin to move faster and faster like they had a mind of their own. Soon enough they were running, sprinting down the sidewalk towards an unknown finish line. I ran, feet kissing the land. Perhaps a little while ago I would have baulked at the idea of running too far and so fast, but now I relish the prospect. These feet were made to travel at speed and as light as the paws of a lioness. Breathing steady, heart strong- this girl was born to run. 
Instead of slowing down, and thinking my decision through as I normally would, I only ran faster, letting my feet carry me along and seeing where they would take me. With the wind blowing in my face my hair flying about, I looked a little mad. But I was okay with that. 
I was leaving that place behind. Forever. Never again, I thought, never again would I return. 
After a while, I realised I had reached the foot of a mountain. I didn’t even think before continuing at my unearthly pace upwards. My amber eyes opened wide as I stared off into the distance. This place, it was so beautiful. It made me feel something deep within. I allowed my eyes to wander along the small brown hills and valleys, following dry creek beds and bare trees. My eyes traced the line of the horizon and paused on the broad mountains towering above it. The jagged peaks of the snow-capped mountains caused a stirring in my soul. A thirst for adventure and beauty awakened in my heart and flowed out into the tips of my toes, making me want to run straight into the embrace of the proud mountains.
Never again, I thought, never again. Never again would sadness envelop me, never again would I curl into a ball of tears. Never again would I return to that desolate place, and never again would I lose hope. 
I reached the top and stood there, breathless, taking in the view. Every ounce of my infinite body was tingling with life. I felt the blood pulsing through my veins and the soft thumping of my steady heart. I couldn’t believe I had made it. 
Never again, I thought, never again. 

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