Fathia Onifade


Wherever It May Lead To

November 19, 2019

Depending on who I am to you, you may see me as a an good person, a bad role mode, an idiot who ran away from all the troubles in his life or even a hero ready to face the real world, It is what it is, but to me all your points of views may just be biased judgements you took upon yourself to make. I for one know that I am running, I don't know where but it feels like It's almost mandatory.

Wherever I am I bring pain so its just better to execute the main source so the rest can be spared... at least that's what I told myself before my legs began to waver from the exhaustion of it all.

I'm not the smartest nor brightest kid on my block, running away would seem like the most stupidest thing ever.

Night fall was approaching and soon I would be tired, Where would I sleep?, Where could I find food? and Where would I go?             

 And the funny thing is that I haven't even spent a night on the loose, if I head back home now my parent's would assume I missed the bus and was late. Shit, I hate when I can't follow things through, it's always been a habit of mine. 

Amos is that you?  a voice appeared behind me, the lady next door, what was i gonna do?              Without thinking I started running again, why the heck did i do that for, she kept calling my name, I had made myself look so suspicious, I should have gone ahead and shouted i'm trying to run away I would prefer no interference please.

I ran so fast and with my black hooded clothes it kind of looked like I was a thug or a thief, I half expected some  policemen to come up from behind me and arrest me. I kept looking behind me and forgot about the front,
BANG!!!, where did that lamp pole come from, I fell back, was I about to faint, or was it death?, then I tried to make some sense out of the situation but the world is pretty crappy so I know not to make sense of it. 
My head was filled with black, a headache was about to be coming in but there was just one question I couldn't forget or figure out, Where had I gone wrong?, was  it the part where I couldn't where I couldn't find the fill to the hole in me or maybe it was the part where i never cared about filling it

Or could it be?... be the accident?, it probably was the accident and I never tried to get over it, you know, I could have prevented i just didn't and now what, i'm supposed to mourn about it my entire life?
i'm sorry, i'm asking  to many questions that i don't know how to answer myself.
So is this the end, I could have lived a better life and protected the people I loved but it's over, I guess my life won't flash before my eyes huh?, I don't mind, my life wasn't a good one anyway.

SPLASH!!!, my face had never felt more alive and awake before.
'Oh so he's alive and awake'
'What', A boy that looked about a middle aged 15 like me grabbed beside me to pick up the water bottle he had previously emptied on my face, I wiped away the wetness from my face.
"your welcome',
            'huh" I replied to the boy who was now trying to juggle the bottle on his nose
''for saving your life of coarse" 
        so I wasn't dead, good news, "thanks, then" I started looking at my surroundings where was I

" What are you doing here?, you don't seem like you know where you are" he waited for a minute before continuing, "well i'm Eris and he's donny and you are?"

before I could reply, donny knocks him on the head and says: you can't tell a stranger our again names you idiot

Sorry, Sorry Eris turns to me,forget his name ok but before they could argue again my mouth opened

" I'm Suyar, I ran away and now i'm lost" I waited for a reply but saw a smile,
''Lucky for you we are runaways, your interesting, your staying with us come on.''

''What, No, were not just some child helpline centre"
     '' We made room for you, so you can make room for him ?''
then without warning he pulled my hand forward forcing me up and started running,                 suprisingly I started running too kinda funny but all I knew was that dawn was the start of something I would have never expected.

We ran through trees and strange buildings I'd never seen before, people who were concentrated on other things and were to busy to watch us and also neighbouring cats that we had managed to catch their attentions.                                            

The wind blue in my face and for the first time in a long time I felt alive, truly alive, my body moving all my sences like my hearing and vision at a huhndred percent it was the most alive that I have ever felt.
   So this was how it felt to be a runaway.
 for along time I thought to myself

"Nobody understands how hard it is for me and that I can't just push it on everyone, my family has to be the last person to share the suffering  they'll get over it and then nobody else will have to suffer, they won't know me i'll just be the kid who ran."

now I realise how stupid that is and now I know that maybe I don't have to be the kid who ran away, maybe I can meet people that share the same experiances to find how I truly feel.

Scared, but I don't need to worry anymore because I know this path is bright wherever it may lead to.

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