Peer Review by HelpMe512 (United States)

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embroidered with petals | Round Three

By: PureHeart


FREE WRITING

she swims beneath the curtains
of the silken surface above,
seldom making ripples
in the river she dwells in.

gracing me with her presence
lissome yet curvaceous,
perfection is her name,
yes, her with the angelic face.

wide eyes supposedly pure,
tainted with innocent desires.
hidden allure, full pink lips
of luscious, tender softness.

cascade of brown locks,
pouring, tumbling, only to glisten.
embroidered with petals in which
Mother Nature's thread weaves.

my nymph ceased to linger
in the dullness of reality,
coy artistry lurking, hiding
beneath the silk of water.


Message to Readers

Round three of okapi's competition! Hope you guys enjoy!


Peer Review

I absolutely loved the description in this! It was very mystical. It was like I was there with the nymph!


I would love to know more about where the nymph came from, or why they're "my nymph", but I feel that would be more suited to a prose piece.


Reviewer Comments

I honestly couldn't put many comments on this because I think it's just so perfect. Fantasy descriptions are my favorite, so I may be a bit biased, but I really loved this. You're a very talented writer!