November 12, 2019

“The wise ones are honourable and stand no nonsense from the dishonourable. The wise ones gift you with liberty to do whatever you desire, as long as you do what they say. The wise ones are altruistic and kind-hearted who will go to unbelievable measures to correct your defects.” That is all I’ve heard from the day one of my miserable life. I have heard it from my teach-bots, my peers, my robo-nanny and everyone else in this hopeless and dejected society! But it is only I, the great Shambolic, who has been able to read between the fine lines of the wise one’s doings. 

They claim to be honourable and against dishonesty, when the truth is that they are  dishonest. The sadistic party feeds us lies to mentally, physically and emotionally confuse each immortal being in the land. You shall learn more about how the wise ones are a twisted and vile group of people as you continue to read.  Oh my, I forgot to mention that we are now immortal. 
At this point, the person who is reading this must be wondering why my name is Shambolic. The answer is unknown, I am not even aware of what it means. I was born as Scarlett by my beloved parents who have been shipped of to a secluded island, formerly known as ‘Retirement land’ when they became senile. Since I was an insignificant one year old, I was scrutinized and watched over by my robo-nanny who noted down my behaviour and etiquettes like I was a research project. She then sent her observations to the wise ones who found ‘Shambolic’ the most suitable word for my conduct. This lengthy and futile process occurs in the lives of every child born in ‘whatever land we live in’. I was so engaged in the reminiscences of my past, that I didn’t realise Kamikaze entering my room.

I shouted out, “Kamikaze, what do you need from my room?”
“I am looking for something to do. My life seems to be ever so monotonous!”
“Well, what did you have in mind to pass your time?”
“I don't know, maybe, I can blast that imbecile nanny. I’ll shoot her like ‘BANG - BANG - BANG’!”
“Why are you so reckless, Kamikaze? You know that if you even try doing that, the wise ones will go into unbelievable measures to put you in your place.”

My younger brother, Kamikaze is always self destructive. Even though I have my own rebellious nature, I have to regulate that side of me so that I can be a good role model for my brother. However, when I am around Diffident I am free to reveal my true colours and who I really am. 

Diffident is my only friend who never judges me regardless of how idiotic I may act. Since we were able to speak, we have spent day and night together talking absolute rubbish. Well, it is usually me doing the talking as I am a chatterbox. Together, we look like quite the couple; I have scarlett hair while he has the most beautiful and silky brown hair; I possess green eyes and he possesses soft hazel eyes; I am fair whilst he has caramel skin with an astounding tan.
You may be under the impression that I have a childish crush on Diffident, that is because I think it’s true. Could it be possible that I, Shambolic, am falling for my shy and captivating best friend? NO, NO, NO! It can’t be, I mustn't even think of such a horrendous and illicit thing as love. 

While I’m on my way to school, I realize that it is useless for me to even consider having feelings for Diffident as it would be unrequited love. My love would never be returned as all boys in this nameless society have been programmed to have a misogynistic attitude towards girls till the age of 25. However, Diffident is clearly not hypnotized to dislike girls as he considers me a friend. The agenda of our lives created by the wise ones goes as follows: Finish school by the age of 20, fall in love when we are 25, get married at the age of 30, have one child when you are 40 and then vanish into Retirement land as if you never existed before. This agenda is imposed onto each citizen and must be followed to the tee. It's quite amusing how the wise ones give us the illusion of freedom, when we actually get the perpetual feeling of suppression and confinement in this town. 

As I am approaching towards my rectangular shaped school, I notice Diffident standing stationary and staring towards the glass building. I run towards him in curiosity and fear of what is happening to him.
I asked him,“Diffi, (my nickname for him) what happened?”
I receive a nebulous response, “Nothing.”                           
“You’re standing in front of our school Diffi. You were standing absolutely still and emotionless like a statue .”
“Oh really Sham (his nickname for me)? I had no idea of what I was doing. One second I was walking to school, and then I felt stuck inside my body; paralysed. It must be side effects from the new medication that nanny gave me.”

Even though he is strikingly handsome, he has insecurities and lacks self-confidence. The authorities above us loathe weaknesses in their children and hence, are trying to rectify Diffident’s lack of confidence with medication. For some reason, I have a feeling that the medicine given to him is possibly for purposes other than rectification as his emotions are incessantly changing these days. I mute the several uncertainties I have from my head and look at my companion. Just one look of him and I feel relaxed, somewhat relieved. He smiles at me, and suddenly I am devoid of all emotions and thoughts. Right now all I can see is him; I feel alienated from the world.

    My first class of the day is Discipline 101. It's the most tedious class as all we have to listen to the teacher ramble on and on about how discipline is the best policy. However, from what I can recall, the real quote is that ‘honesty is the best policy’. But they obviously cannot teach us about honesty as you must practice what you preach. Once my boredom had reached its level of extremity, I decided to take the risk of doodling while class was going on. Usually, my favorite thing to doodle are eyes, yet I found myself to be drawing the name Diffident all over the paper with hearts. “DDDRRRRIIINNG”. That was the sound of the bell, the sound of relief from my ceaseless boredom. 

    Diffident stands beside me while I am packing my bag. I wish he would go away right now as he can never ever espy the paper as he would get the hint that I like him. I glance at Diffi for a second and what I see traumatises me. Diffi is standing right next to me with the paper in his hand! Oh no! This day has been an utter nightmare. 
“Sham, what on earth is this?” His tone suggested that he was irked. 

I start shaking in anxiety, “I. I will t-t-talk to you ab-b-out it later. B-b-ye.”I snatch the paper out of his hand with brutal force and I run like there’s no tomorrow. I run into the bathroom and I enter a stall. All my emotions rush out of my body like a flood. My tears are enough to fill a river, my shouting is powerful enough to cause a storm, my anger is steadily rising like a tsunami, but I feel fragile and susceptible to sink amidst all these emotions. 

  When I reach back home I’m still stupefied by the events that occurred previously. I walk into my room, lacking my usual zeal and zest for life. “Boo!” Screams a familiar masculine voice.
“Diffi. What are you doing here?” 
“Well, you said you would talk to me about what I saw in school today.”
“Right. Okay. I suppose it would be useless for me to beat around the bush. So, I am going to tell you the truth.”
“Go on Sham.”
“I like you more than a friend. You are all I can think about. I know I shouldn’t be thinking of such an illegal thing, but I had to confront my emotions.”
“Oh Sham, you poor thing. You could have told me this before. You’re Sham and I’m Diffi, we are best friends who absolutely adore each other. Hold onto that thought, I’ll be right back.”

Suddenly all the chains that were tying me down to earth seemed to be uplifted. I felt as if I had been tranquilized. For the next 10 minutes I sang in absolute bliss and joy while I waited for my soon to be ‘beau’ Diffident returned elfish looking creature next to him. The wise one! Why is the wise one coming into my room with Diffi? 
“Diffi what is happening?” 
“The wise ones know all about your misdoings”
I feel a sudden blow to my head. My beloved Diffident backstabbed me! No, that's not possible. It must be the medicines acting up again.
“Diffi, please tell me that you didn’t do this consciously.” 
“This time it wasn’t the medicines acting up.” Diffident replied with the most vile and disturbing voice. It was a side to him that I was unaware of.
“Oh Diffi, you’re fibbing. It has to be the medicines. I love you to the moon and back. Please Diffi, tell me the truth. Tell me that your behaviour is just a side effect of the pills. Diffi, please…”


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