Peer Review by L3X∅L∅TL (United States)

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why don't you smile?

By: ajamwal


FREE WRITING

why frown when you can smile?
is it because of despair,  
disappointment, or simply fear?
why scar the space between your eyebrows with a horrid scowl?
only if you could learn to lift the ends of your lips and showcase those pearly teeth of yours.
don't you realize, only one species has the power to apply this act.
is it because of the salty sorrows of heartbreak, that makes hot drops drip from your eyes,
or the salt he threw in your eyes?
is it because there is no hope, no light in sight, or because the power went out?
is it because the bruises and scars you made or the sticks and stones they threw at you.
is it because it disappeared, or because someone stole it from you?
you frown so much, and sob so much you don't realize,
what was once gone appeared, 
the salt in your eyes dissolved,
your bruises and scars are being tainted by the hands of those who made them.
and the one that left you in the dust is now at your feet.
the sun is rising, why don't you look up, wipe those tears, live in the present and forget the past?
why don't you smile?


Message to Readers

if you think about it, humans are the only species, that have been discovered, (gotta consider aliens and alien lovers) that can actually smile? why do we always frown then, we were given the ability to smile for a reason, so we should do it more often. fun fact, before one of my best friends knew me, she knew as "the smiley girl," which i found funny. i started smiling less when i got braces and even less when i started reading the news, but i still try and smile, you should too.

FANTASY LEAGUE (੭ˊ͈ ꒵ˋ͈)⊃━☆゚.*。゚

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- SHOUTOUTS -

o(・u・)o, Jilly17bean, is a new and powerful writer, her first piece "Reunion" won November's Fantasy League!!

\( ^ 0 ^ )/ FoxLilly106, is a breathtaking writer, her novel "Past Memories," (may be too intense depending on the audience) is so COMPELLING, if you need inspiration, definitely see her account!

ଘ(੭ˊ꒳ˋ)੭ ✧Check out my novel "INCOGNITO." ✧

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Peer Review

"your bruises and scars are being tainted by the hands of those who made them. and the one that left you in the dust is now at your feet. the sun is rising, why don't you look up, wipe those tears, live in the present and forget the past? why don't you smile?, got me good honestly it touched me alot, I'm kind of breathless because of it.


Is the use of lower case for each line purposeful or accidental? Is this a poem? Prose?


Reviewer Comments

It's beautiful and eye opening, the message along with the piece with humans as the only smiling species made me realize how complex and simple humans are.