she weaves you a crown of blue flowers, ties the long stems into delicate knots, lays it gently upon your head. in this field of blue is a small piece of heaven; she reaches for your hands.
pollen clings to the edges of her eyelashes. it's not the flowers that hold your gazes; your eyes are fixed on the soft skin of her hands, twirling a flower between her fingertips.
there are no burdens weighing down your shoulders in this meadow. your sword lies unused to the side, partially obscured by the flowers that grow without abandon.
this doesn't feel like a goodbye.
she presses a delphinium into your hand and brings it up to her lips. she kisses the back of your hand gently and wishes you luck.
she doesn't say goodbye; it's too permanent. you promise to come back to her, with flowers twice as beautiful as the ones that decorate your head. the sun shines just so that the light hides her face from view. she waves you off, standing haloed in a sea of flowers, and you commit the image to memory.
it's the last thing you think of when you die in battle, lying on your back, staring up at a sky as kind and blue as the flowers she gifted you.
you hope she can forgive you.
for a long time, you weren't sure if she remembered you.
for a long time, you weren't sure if she was real.
the dreams had always been a part of your life: dancing in a field of blue flowers, a beautiful knight pressing a strawberry against your lips, a promise, and crushing emptiness. the box of childhood drawings your parents keep are filled with a child's scribbles of a knight with a blue crown, sword in the air. they'd delight in the imaginative creations of a child, and so you, too, believed it was all your imagination.
until you saw her again, making a flower crown in the grass of the park at your university. you saw her, froze in disbelief, then escape before she could see you. you couldn't understand why you were crying.
the memories become clear slowly. part of you wishes you never remembered.
here, in another life, you will hold the memories of her funeral in your heart alongside the memories of her laughter.
fate seems determined to push you back to her; no matter where you go, you run into her. the cafe, the farmer's market, on the way to class, even in one of your classes.
desperate to seem sane, you mention your memories of another lifetime to no one. you refuse to look her in the eye. but she seeks you out with that smile that sets your heart aflame. she lays a hand on your wrist to get your attention, buys you treats, chats about her other classes. you spend your nights picking apart every conversation, desperate for some sign that she remembers you.
and when she tells you her favorite flower is delphiniums, you excuse yourself, too slow to hide your tears.
the next day, she presents you a bouquet of hyacinths and says she's come back to you.
it takes all your willpower to stop kissing her.
in one lifetime, a young girl and her knight die young. the knight, in her crown of delphiniums, dies defending her kingdom. they win the war, and her beloved is safe, but she never gets to see the peace she fought for. the young girl weeps at her funeral and plants delphiniums around her knight's grave, and promises to find her again in another life.
in another lifetime, the girl who was once a knight searches tirelessly for her love. with a handful of hyacinths, she asks her beloved to forgive her for breaking her promise to return. brought together in another time, they promise to never part again; girl and knight, now and forever lovers.
in this lifetime, they live to an old age together, and when they die on the same day, just hours apart, it is not delphiniums or hyacinths that bloom in remembrance, but lavender.
blue delphiniums - protection against danger, grace
purple hyacinths - sorrow, regret
lavender - devotion
reincarnation and lesbians is always a good and heartbreaking match. this is just like. the beginnings of a story idea that i wanted to write down. maybe i'll write more on this, maybe i won't. who knows ya know?