Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
the first line draws me in alittle maybe add a better title.
describing every day things he does.
more detail over all describe things
ex: the hot, sizzling, sun burned through my skin as I sat on my lawn, it was 2:43 pm.
I do have a sense of where the story takes place but more detail would be greatly apriciated.
ur story is really good with a little bit of editing it will be perfect. good luck
more DETAIL PLZ!!!!