Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Really for me, it was that I was genuinely interested in what was ahead of me. You hooked me from the first line making me wonder throughout the story whether Elijah would ever get to dance with Mira.
I think that the fact that you describe his thoughts so vividly really plants images in my mind making me feel as though I know him. I like how you gave him a motive leaving the readers to root for him the entire time!
I think because this is a novel-writing competition requiring only a portion of the book, further details will be explained later. If you continue though, I would provide a bit of additional background on the characters.
I think you should add a bit more description of the setting. I have no doubt that you can do that because you capture the characters (their appearances, idiosyncrasies, and actions) perfectly!
Definitely keep at this novel! To be honest, it made me feel like I was opening up a new bestseller and was riveted from the start! Keep writing is all I have to say because you have a real talent!
Wow, major plot twist at the end! Great work!