Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
I love the kind of dystopian future. The idea of near-constant surveillance is really alluring.
I love the description of Henry’s physical features, but I think you need to add more emotion.
I think the reader needs to know why they are cleaning the guns. Are they reusing and selling them, filling a military order, etc.
Maybe describe the weather a bit more. And possibly some sounds, I get a great visual, but all I get is military stuff. If that’s all there is, maybe describe the lack of wildlife.
I LOVE THIS! Usually when I review pieces, I find lots of grammatical errors, but in hours I only found two. This is great writing. I hope you continue the story!