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By: KiwiCat ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
Message to Readers
This is my competition entry for 'Writers of the World' #GOrwell!!!! Compeitition! Hope u like it!
Loved how well thought out it was. You did a great job describing each character, giving them each distinctive personalities.
I think that you could, in the beginning, elaborate on how much they want to get out there, and how they want to be adopted. There are a lot of statements, but not a lot of feeling descriptions.
Great story, but I think it would be more, manageable if each chapter was its own document. Otherwise, it’s so long that you can’t possibly read it all. This way, if the reader likes your writing, they can move to the next chapter without feeling overwhelmed by your story’s length. (Maybe put instructions in the footnotes)
Also, because of the length of each chapter, grammatical mistakes are abundant. Breaking these up would make peer-reviews more plausible. I decided not to review on grammar in this one because it was so long.
Truly great story! Lots of great elements!