Peer Review by AminahMcBina (United States)

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fading | #Colours | #Whatislove?

By: Wicked!


FREE WRITING

it was a rose of the deepest, darkest red, almost tipping over into maroon's territory. it was perfect in every way, as if artemis herself had spent hours creating it; its velvety soft petals, close together, yet curling way outwards; its sepals, trying to shield the petals from the world, but giving up eventually, letting them shine in all their glory.

i had kept it in my journal with the dark blue leather cover, the year emblazoned on it in gold print, reduced to a little inconspicuous bump when you ran your fingers across the cover. i'll preserve it, i had thought, pressing it between the stark white pages, crisp with newness.

it was my birthday that day, and we had whiled away the time sitting on the soft green grass, in the warm winter sun. i love you, you had said, giving the rose to me, your inky black hair fluttering in the gentle breeze, your brown eyes sparkling in the bright sunlight.

it's my birthday again today, and the rose is still in my journal with the dark blue leather cover. the gold print has eroded since, and the pages are no longer as white or new. the petals have lost their softness, and the colour is fading too. the love remains though, but it leaves me wishing that you were here too.

i'm not sure if artemis is the right goddess here.

the last couple of sentences rhyme and it sounds weird, but i couldn't really think of a better way to phrase it.

Message to Readers

This is for Strangekid96's #Whatislove? contest as well as for AcetheticallyPleasing's contest. Go check them out!

Feedback is greatly appreciated. I don't mind harsh criticism at all, so be brutally honest :)


Peer Review

Everything! The tone, description, etc. is so engaging, and I have no idea why, but this made me want to cry!


I think you did an amazing job on this! I think it would be amazing to know what happened to their lover. Like ahhhhh!


Reviewer Comments

I'm so sorry it took so long to finish your reviews, I've had so much stuff to do and my life has been super crazy!