aditi

United States

Marvel fan girl for life
Dog lover; and, just now, Dog mom
Voyager
Animal Activist
Foster Dog Mom
Agent of Shield
Avenger
Total Foodie

I live by this:
“ Some people deserve a high five.
In the face.
With a chair.”

Message to Readers

Any feedback would help.

Phoenix #sparkingcreativity

October 28, 2019

FREE WRITING

4
"Young lady, are you sure you want to go to the Forbidden Forest? It's not safe for a lady of your pedigree," he said hesitantly, torn between attending to his customer's request and the safety of himself and his horse. 
"I assure you, kind sir, that I will be safe. I will make sure to put in a good word with my father about your services," she said hurriedly. She could feel the beginnings of the rebirth, and she wanted to be at the pond before the transformation started. As a princess of Coraria, the Phoenix Ceremony was a widely celebrated event, but Ausra didn't want anything big. The castle was wonderful, but it was also a bejeweled, gilded, golden cage. 
The forest was a place of folklore and fantasy, and there are many tales about the forest. Ausra knew though, from experience, that the forest is not the haunted labyrinth that it has been portrayed as. It's a place of magic and wonder, a place that opens your eyes in more ways than one. The trees were towering giants, the slight gaps in the branches letting the light peek through. The stream gurgled happily, bubbling and frothing, the clear liquid a pure, sky-like blue. Mystical plants bloomed as she walked by, showing off their feather-soft petals, and letting the intoxicating, heady perfume in the air. She took a deep breath, absorbing the secret treasures of the forest. Ausra followed the river, gasping and panting as the transformations began. The transformation was a ritual blessed by the Goddess. You would be reborn into the kind of person you are. Her sisters looked like dolls, with perfect hair, and clear skin, but with no mind of their own. One of the things she was most looking forward to was the wings; it would give her the liberty of flying, and mostly, freedom. She longed to experience the wonder of her kingdom, and know what life was like beyond the palace. A sparkling sort of pain shot through her, making her cry out. She began to hear the soft gushing of the waterfall, and hope bloomed in her chest. 
Luna Falls was one of the rare places touched by the Goddess. The water was a dark blue, tinged with silver. She discovered it when she last escaped; she had almost forgotten to go home. Goosebumps rippled down her arms, and she was paralyzed, in the heaven-like splendor of the falls. She was caught out of her frozen position when another wave of pain, less bearable than the last, came. She fell to her knees, curling over as she felt the bones in her back twist, crack, and change, reforming themselves. She was swallowed by the tornado of embers. Ausra arched her back as wings shot out of her back, unfurling painfully. She shook and collapsed on the soft ground, gulping in the crisp air. She stretched, feeling a large weight on her back. She peeked in the reflection of the pond, afraid to see what the Goddess had done to her. But when she saw herself, her breath caught in her throat. 
She was beautiful. Her dark hair was flowing and ebbing like it was made of water itself, and her eyes were like molten lava, bright like the embers. The best part, though, was her wings. They matched her eyes, a golden orange color. She spread them out, and with one powerful blow, she was flying. She screamed at the sheer pleasure of it and whispered a silent prayer to the Goddess. She had given her the best gift of all-freedom. 

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6 Comments
  • Crazy

    WOW, great story:)


    almost 2 years ago
  • aditi

    thank you for the feedback @pardalote_30
    I'm aware that i do that and have been working on fixing it


    almost 2 years ago
  • pardalote_30

    This story is really enchanting, I love the idea behind it and the way you describe Ausra’s reincarnation. Only criticism is that I think there were a few places where you changed tense. But that’s okay, it happens to everyone and it can be tricky to tell when it does! Otherwise a beautiful story. :)


    almost 2 years ago
  • pardalote_30

    This story is really enchanting, I love the idea behind it and the way you describe Ausra’s reincarnation. Only criticism is that I think there were a few places where you changed tense. But that’s okay, it happens to everyone and it can be tricky to tell when it does! Otherwise a beautiful story. :)


    almost 2 years ago
  • aditi

    thanks so much, @Aurelia.Valus


    almost 2 years ago
  • Aurelia.Valus

    Wow, your imagery in this piece is quite lovely! It's a really nice story.


    almost 2 years ago