Peer Review by aditi (United States)

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The Crime of Dreaming

By: Aurelia.Valus


FREE WRITING

Is it a crime to dream
Of the elegant sky 
And the sun rising 
On a path that leads only to infinity.

Discovering castles and leading adventures 
into the sacred dawn
Flying away with all but faded hopes
Of a world that lasts only in a dream.

Endless lakes of secrets and love 
Filling hearts till they can’t hold another drop
Though dreams fill up the entirety of the mind.

Imagine a benevolent night
 Of Moonlit flowers and masquerade balls
Getting lost in a serene sea of forever sleep
And drifting off into the afterlife and oblivion.

Cruel and abhorrent judgement 
Of the world in a dream
Atrocious and ruthless punishment
And it was believed 
That it was not a crime to dream.

I made this a long, long time ago. I really wanted to add to it as well. So...Yeah.

Message to Readers

I would really like if you commented and reviewed this piece. Any feedback is always appreciated! :)


Peer Review

I like the part about the serene sleep-how fun would that be?


Maybe the last paragraph- you could expand on why you described it using all those words


Reviewer Comments

This is so dreamlike, and it reminds me of a fantasy book with fairies and mermaids! Great work!