Img 5597

SMITH LILIAN

United States

LOVING LIFE

Message to Readers

Does everything flow? If not how can I improve it? As you're reading, does it make you think deeper?

Dream

May 9, 2016

FREE WRITING

1
On that cruel morning
I stood outside the kitchen
and stared through the glass, 
at my mom who made me so mad,
"Why do I still love her?" 

Then I looked up at the sky,
As I stared at the sky I saw,
Her necklace start to twinkle with the stars
Her hair sprinkled with the soft falling snowflakes,
I saw her shimmer as she threw her head back
And let out a beautiful laugh,

But then... 
she froze
I gasped as her eyes connected with mine,
The eyes that used to hold and love me

We started walking towards each other,
Step...
By step...
Closer and closer, so close,

Then it all fell apart,
She disappeared
It was all just a dream,
I'm still alone with the swirling storm of hate

 
To fully understand this you need to think about a child who was given up. Adoption. And how they don't understand what happened, but they're mad and sad. They want to be with their mom, but she's gone. I would really like for some reviews/feedback. I write a lot, but have trouble making things flow. As well as titles and such. Thanks!

Print

See History
  • May 9, 2016 - 4:48pm (Now Viewing)

Login or Signup to provide a comment.