Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
I would really appreciate if you would take the time to comment and review! Any suggestions always welcome!
This story is cool because it has so much emotion and action. It was also very sad at the end. I really want to know if there's anything that happens after the protagonist is swallowed up by the ground. Does she die? What happens to the other people in the story?
I'd like to know more about the setting of this story and why the conflicts occur. You don't tell us much about why this war is happening, or why that monster came and tried to kill the protagonist. Also, in the title it says this is a prologue. Is there more to the story? I'd love to know if anything happens next. Other than that, I think it was really good!
I think that the main thing you could do to improve this story would be to add more details and tell the reader more about what's happening. It's kind of confusing in some parts because there isn't too much background information. It would be nice if you could just sprinkle some more bits of information throughout the story. It was exciting and suspenseful to read, and I think you did a really good job! :)