Peer Review by JakeFrommStateFarm (United States of America)()

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Mid-October

By: paigepaigepaige


PROMPT: Open Prompt

I make pancakes on a greasy griddle 
by moonlight. I kiss teeth. Wear pink
- only ironically. You ask me to write 
you a poem; and who am I to oblige? 
Eat peanut butter off the spoon - chunky above all, 
including God herself, processed to Hell 
and back. This is not for you. Life’s simple 
pleasures are these: a kiss on the eyelids / 
hot summer rains / cryptid sightings in your hometown.
I do not create for you or me or us.
I paint. I write. I wink into the sun and I send it my love.


Peer Review

I would say that is a poem about the things you enjoy in life.


The last line, without a doubt.


The line where you said, "Eat peanut butter off the spoon - chunky above all,/ including God herself, processed to Hell/ and back." Were you saying God is chunky? Or is He processed "to Hell and back?"


Reviewer Comments

Only the use of "God herself." Either change "herself" to "himself" or "God" to "Godess"