Peer Review by AJ - Izzy (Canada)()

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tiki

By: and-peggy


FREE WRITING

To sit
In Front Of The Wild Grey Ocean
Calm, Happy On A Swing
Seashells In Your Pocket
Water On The Cuffs Of Your Jeans

To reach
Out To The Splashing, Thrashing Waves
Feeling Almost Connected- One With The World
Water Surrounding Your Feet
Sand Dripping From Your Fingertips

To laugh
Because The Feeling Of Freedom Is So... Surreal
So Freeing
Gelato Drips Down Your Sun-Tanned Arms
As You Sit In The Shade Of A Tall, Large Palm Tree

To live
In The Moment, Because The Ocean Is Just So... Real
There Is No Where Else In The World, There Is Only Here
Only Now, With The Cool Ocean Breeze Cooling You Down
And In This Moment, Nothing Else Matters.

tiki.

Not sure WHAT exactly this is... just, I'm on vacation at the beach right now and I thought I'd bring you along with me!! :)
I dunno why it's tiki though... maybe because there's a Tiki Bar here. In any case... hope you liked it!

Peer Review

It's very unique! I love the image that it brings to mind, especially when you go deep into details such as the "cuffs of your jeans" or the beginnings of the lines. It captivated me, which is why I chose this piece to review in the first place!


I’m just curious what the reason for the capitals and accents and lowercases is, I don’t think I quite understood how it added or emphasized your writing the way you see it, but it was a cool stance to take! Also, as I mentioned a few times in the comments, see if you can use words that sound different but also flow and connect easily rather than words that will flow because of the similarity but also hold back on the variety of the vocabulary.


Reviewer Comments

You made this piece stand out a lot to me, with the title and the capitals and accent, which is awesome! It’s unique and beautiful, great piece! If you don't mind, could you answer to the few questions I had in the comments and right about too? Thanks, amazing writing, you definitely have the art and talent of a poet :)