Peer Review by AminahMcBina (United States)

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Salt and The Sea

By: The Moving Finger Writes


FREE WRITING

It was dark. Not pitch black, but a darkness that barely allowed shapes to form. The air was thick with the smell of seaweed, and I could hear the breaking of waves. The sand beneath my back was damp. 

When I sat up, a figure was sitting in front of me with an elegantly adorned green dress and sandy hair that reached past her waist. Though I was surprised, I felt no fear; rather an unusual sense of calm. 

“Where am I?” I asked her slowly. 

Her only response was a gentle smile and a wave of her hand, beckoning me forward. 

I felt I could trust her and stood up, and as I did so, the woman began to walk forward, descending into the water with a ghostly grace. 

Carefully I followed her. The water wasn’t icy, as I’d expected, but smooth and warm, and I glided through it effortlessly. My head went under last. 

I floated almost impossibly well, and continued to follow the woman forward. Finally she stopped and turned to me. She brushed a hand over my eyelids, closing them, then eased them open again. 

The dark waters in front of me were no more. Now it was a city of light and peace and serenity. I simply stared until the woman spoke for the first time, in a soft, ethereal voice.

“You asked where you were, darling,” she said. “You are home.”

Written off of this pin

Message to Readers

Testing the waters of fantasy. How did I do? All reviews are welcome.


Peer Review

I especially loved the ending! I think it gives the reader a sense of belonging, while it also has the affect to make the reader wonder who the woman is.


I'd like to know how he/she ended up on the side of the ocean. Who is the woman? Where did she take him?


Reviewer Comments

Well done! You write such interesting stories! Never stop writing.

-Mina