I used to know my world, I used to live in it,really live not just exist but live. Now I live in a world that is not my own, they days drag and speed up without my consent. I don't know how this happened, things have gotten so busy lately I haven't had time to realize I was running someone else's senseless race, and for some reason I am (was) determined to succeed. Winning this stupid race was success, running from home, school,meetings, rehearsals, practice and my fears was success (and actually horrible for health but who cares). This world I live in is 2-D and grey scale because I can't fully commit myself to world in black and white. I thought this world was my life, I fear that it will be for at least the next few months but... that's pretty bullshit to me.
So what do I do? That is a great question do I practice mindfulness and WU WU stuff to make myself disassociate from this world I've trapped myself in or,I could be bad and just not care, or I could be worse and just ignore these problems and tough it out.
And guess what I chose,worse. The only logic I find in this is that its only going to bad for a little over a year and after that well, I guess I 'll tell you about my world then.
Sorry this was a bit of a rant piece but yeah hope you like it, if not Happy Halloween.