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Message to Readers
Republishing for prompt 1 of HelpMe512's #Helpme2020 contest as well as The Great Gabs-by's contest. Go check them out!
This piece is gorgeous and beautiful, bringing tears to my eyes. I love the way you told this story, using flashbacks of the past and events of their present. You give beautiful descriptions that give a memorable impact. I feel as though I can imagine the creatures and characters you give life, but also not quite completely wrap my head around it. There's a mystery behind the creatures. Also, the emotion and feelings expressed throughout the piece are amazing. You have a cause and effect thing going on and your sequencing is incredible.
If you were to expand, perhaps on why the mother didn't leave when she was pregnant with the first child. I feel as though this was the biggest unanswered question I had, that I thought out about through half the piece. For more depth, maybe you can expand on why the grandmother never did leave or follow them. Meaning, you give more background and depth to the grandmother's character.
This piece was amazing! Definitely memorable and experience of its own. You created a new type of fictional culture that I really enjoyed!