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Mackenzie

United States

Message to Readers

The poem was carefully constructed so that the first 10 lines and again reflected (in the same order) in the last 10. The "not" lines all have something "wrong" with them, something that disrupts the beat set in the first 10 lines. This change emphasizes the "badness" or "not goodness" of the statement being made for it is not true not only in meaning but it is also not true to the beat of the poem.
One will notice that the third "untruth" does not have a not. It is still untrue, it is untrue to the expectation that had been created that all the "untruths" with be off beat. This mirrors the human condition of wishing to remain true to ourselves, but wanting to fit in with the crowd. This line demonstrates my personal belief that humans will always find a way to be themselves no matter the circumstance.
Lines 8 and 19 were fun to write. Line 8 says that truth is a lie or a fantasy. Line 19 says that lies are true (supporting Line 8) and alludes to the fact that the author (or me) is the "fanciful artist" who fabricated the truths in the first place! This again reveals something. It shows the reader that often the truths they believe about themselves and thus, show the world, are often not true. This applies to "not" statements, "I'm not pretty/smart/nice, as the painter is revealed in the "not" statement part of the poem. The person wishes that the lies (I'm not pretty) were not true (they wish they were). The person wishes that the truth (that they are pretty) was true, not something they made up.
The use of the word "flushed" in Line 19 echoes back to "the rosy glance" life gives. This also gives the idea that the "rosy glance" is a lie. I have noticed that people often imagine their future to be more perfect than it will ever realistically be.
Line 18 is like what one would expect the "not" lines to be like. Again the line, while it fits the first 10 lines, does not fit it's 10 lines and thus messes things up. Also, lies are often believed because they are what we expect.

I think I can trust that you are a good enough reader to pick up on the rest of the allusions, mirroring, and play on words within the poem. I had just wanted to explain a few points that I thought might be confusing.
I loved writing this poem.

Constructive Criticism only please

A List of Truths and Untruths

March 18, 2015

I wish that the world was true

Not build on selfish dreams and lies

I wish that life was true

Not forever giving a rosy glance at what could be

I wish that I was true

Not forever hiding behind a grinning mask

I wish that the truth was true

Not a fabrication of some fanciful artist's brush

Even the Stars!

Oh! I wish that they were true!

Not twinkling in the sky like a diamond but burning like the fires they are!

I wish the galaxy was not so not true

So that space could truly be itself

I wish that death could not be true

For it to never cast it's black eye upon us again

I wish that we could be true

To always let ourselves be revealed

I wish that lies are not true

Not always urging me to paint their flushed likeness

How I wish the dirt was not true!

Not forever covering my self but releasing me so that I can rise like the sun I am! 

 

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  • March 18, 2015 - 9:13pm (Now Viewing)

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